Ilene,

Oh how I can relate to how a life-threatening disease or situation can change your outlook. About 6 years ago my husband and I had a very bad car accident - he was laid up for a year (and was unemployed at the time).I had about 3 months recuperation and had to force myself to work for monetary reasons. The clincher was that we didn't have medical insurance at the time. That's a very humbling experience.

Needless to say, once we were on our feet, medical insurance was a top priority. And thank goodness it was because of the hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical bills my husband had, we ended up paying all of $20. Although it was difficult at times to come up with the premium, my experience told me it was necessary.

The biggest irony for us was that we bought a house 6 months before my husband was diagnosed. For some unknown reason at the time, I was a "tornado" about getting things done A.S.A.P. My husband even asked why we had to get everything done yesterday. Apparently I had an inner sense that our "future" time was going to be spent on more important things - his illness. Maybe that's what they mean by "self-fulling prophecy".

Don't know why but I feel that 20 years down the road, you will look back at this time as just one of the many parts of your life that make you who you are - but being able to enjoy the fruits of your labor and the life that you and your husband share. And I hope your "pout" turns into a continual SMILE.

Cynthia