Petey, it sounds like you're doing the right things to get treatment soon but you have to keep at it.

As for it being "unacceptable" to you that your tongue, taste or ability ot eat could be taken away, hopefully you will not permanently lose any abilities. But I have been struggling to eat without a feeding tube since my treatment (which ended over a year and 1/2 ago) and I can tell you right now there is one time when it bothers me. When I'm around other people eating. Which is a very small percentage of my average day. The rest of the time I am pretty much a normal person living a normal life. If anyone had told me this was even a possibility when I started treatment it would have terrified me and part of me would probably have thought it was "unacceptable" but really it is not a huge deal on most days.

Not that I haven't been fighting and having surgeries, etc. to get back my ability ot eat (with some modest success). But I can tell you right now I have neve thought for a minute I would have been better of giving up and letting the cancer get me. Eating is not your whole life. Make a list of everything in life that gives you joy--everything. Sunsets. Your kids or grandkids. Good smells. Hearing beautiful music. Everything on that list that doesn't involve eating will still be there no matter what happens to your mouth. You'll be more grateful too, for all those things, because of this experience.

Nelie