Michelle,
Amy gave you some good advice, you can't change your husbands attitude. Only he can do that.

Caregivers are vital to a cancer patients long journey to being a survivor. It simply cannot be done without the caregiver. With that said, only a cancer patient can understand the depth of emotion we feel during the cancer experience. I always liken it to living in a different world. My husband is the saint of all caregivers, but I still feel as if I live in a different world then he does. He can leave the world tainted by cancer, I can't. It's my world now, I'm the one with the physical effects, emotional scars, etc. When I was having a very emotional time at the end of radiation, I could see that he emphathized with me and felt bad for me, but he didn't KNOW how I felt so he struggled. I could almost feel him wanting to tell me how he thought I should handle it, how he thought I should approach it. I've always given him tons of credit for not doing that. He let me do it my way. Maybe this is simply how your husband needs to deal with it at this time and he just doesn't have the emotional fortitude to try it your way. Even as good as your way sounds!
Hang in there, he will come to terms with it all but it won't happen overnight.