I actually felt better last night and filled with hope for the first time since this started. Thank you all so much for the support and the reassurances regarding stage IV - that was making me worry alot. And prior to finding this site I kept finding statistics - and they are not what I needed to be reading.
We have read everything we can get our hands on re: rad side effects and I guess now it's just wait to get started and do the best we can with them. I'm sure there are posts in the other sections that tell of tips, etc.
I need to do some research on the chemotherapy side of things because we'll meet with that oncologist on Tuesday.
I am very intimitaded being caregiver and mother. A little background on me - I'm 35 and I lost my mother to breast cancer at 24. I already had my own home, etc. (no hubby), but did live close to my parents. I realized right away it would be too much on my dad so I closed up my house and moved home with him. We shared all the caregiving to her. Now I'll do it for my husband, by myself with 2 kids... very scared. I'm going to read the MHUPE blog that was recommended.
I'm also worried about our daughter - she is actually Dan's daughter (I just claim her as mine). She lives with her mother in the same town as us, but she spends almost 1/2 the time over here. I'm mommy also and have been for almost 7 years. Her mom and I get along real well and we are very worried about her through this process. Right now she knows daddy had surgery, they found cancer, we're seeing lots of doctors to figure out the best plan to beat it. That's pretty much it. Our son who will be 3 this spring is somewhat oblivious. I can tell he's nervous when Dan has bandages and after the surgeries if Dan spends a whole day resting in bed and then comes out with the family he is shy. I talked to his pediatrician about it and she said the stress will affect him and to try to keep his schedule/routine as normal as possible. I've got some things in mind to work on that.
Dan's got the oral surgery this afternoon and I just hope the pain is not too bad. It's on the same side/section as where the surgery was and where he had the hematoma so it's already painful there.
Michelle