Hello, amk. God bless you for working so hard on your sister's behalf. I, too, cannot imagine dealing with something like this at such an early age.
Although I know much better, I had bouts of concern that things that I had done in MY life were the cause of my husband's illness. Silly, and stupid, I know, but rationality goes right out the window in the face of fear, does it not?
How far are you from Johns Hopkins in Baltimore?
They have the #1 Head and Neck Oncology dept in the US as I understand it. Had we not been so comfortable with the oncologists at UVA, we'd have been happy to drive the extra distance to use Johns Hopkins' team. I believe they have residential places to stay so you could avoid traveling. I know it is hard to away from home during an illness, but finding/utilizing the best medical care available is worth the disruption. We live about 2 hours away from UVA and once Tom begins daily radiation/chemo, we've elected to stay near the hospital. I may commute to work a few days a week, and let the cancer center volunteers take Tom to treatments, if I feel he'd be comfortable doing that.

With all the other prayers, believe that ours will be included. If I may, I'll send you a private post with a prayer we say daily.
God bless you and your family.
Nicki