A week ago tomorrow, my husband was diagnosed with oral cancer. He has a tumor on the base of his tongue. They did a biopsy and it was squamous cell. They did a CT scan Monday and a scope under anesthesia this evening.

This evening the doctor could have just as well stomped me in the stomach, than to drop all the bombs he did. The tumor on the base of his tongue is 5 cm. They say with its size and placement, they can't do surgery. He has some spreading, I think they said to the soft palate, but some of it is a blur. The doctor didn't have the report from the CT with him, but also stated it appeared it had spread to his lymph nodes. Okay, that was bad enough. Then he tells me they found a 1.7 cm nodule in his left lung, which they also believe may be cancer. They are setting up a PET scan asap, to see if it has spread elsewhere. He says, at this point they don't know if the nodule in his lung is related, but he said it doesn't look good, and if it is related to the oral cancer he says there is basically no reason to pursue any further treatment. He said if it isn't related to the oral cancer, but is an unrelated case of lung cancer, then they might be able to do something.

I've been reading on here for the last few days, and trying to educate myself as quickly as possible, but my brain just about shut down tonight. We already had an appointment set for tomorrow with a Radio Oncologist and another appointment Friday at the cancer clinic where they are supposed to have some sort of conference with several doctors and then meet with us.

If it has in fact spread to many other places in his body I know the outlook is not good. But, my fear is, he already has a difficult time swallowing or eating without pretty severe pain, but if it has spread and they can't do anything for him, then what is the answer - let this thing on his tongue base continue to grow until he can't swallow at all.

I'm sorry, I know I'm new here, and I know I've rambled on a bit, but frankly, I'm petrified, as I guess everyone else here has also been at some time or other. I appreciate his doctor being honest, but it appears he's telling us there is pretty much no hope. My husband is only 49 years old. He's already said he doesn't want to go through painful treatment if it will only prolong suffering.

Thanks for letting me vent here. I know I'm just another stranger, but I figured there was no one better to talk to than someone who has been there before.