Hello. My name is Samantha. This is the first time I've ever used a forum so this is new to me. But I have been talking with Christine Brader and she says it would be a great idea to come on here, share my story and get to speak to others who have stories just like mine. Well as I said before I'm Samantha. I am 22 years old and I was 21 when I was told I first had oral cancer.

Around September or so of 2009 under my tongue I seemed to have these two ulcers that just wouldn't go away. Well when about October came around and they were still there I decided to see my regular doctor, he then sent me to an ENT near my home. This ENT took a biopsy of under my tongue. But he believed it was just some sort of infection in the mouth. He put me on magic mouth wash. It did nothing. The biopsy then came back negative but by this time a new ulcer had formed on the side of my tongue. This ulcer then started to literally eat into my tongue. The doctor didn't know what to do for me so he then transferred me to Johns Hopkins. There they preformed another biopsy. It was about the beginning of December 09 by now. This biopsy came back positive.

On December 22nd I had my first surgery. I had to miss my daughters second Christmas because I was in the hospital. I wasn't able to see her for about a week. She was a year and a half then. I had the left side of my tongue removed. They used my left forearm to rebuild my tongue and also removed 64 lymph nodes from the left side of my neck. They all came back negative for cancer. The doctors were sure they got all the cancer so they figured I did not need radiation. I was cancer free until September of 2010.

In September I started to get an odd pain in my neck. The pain would shoot from my neck into my ear. I had a spasm in my neck before so I just thought it was another one. I went to the doctors in case. There my doctor found a lump on the left side of my neck. I was shocked I didn't even realize the lump was there. The next day I was in excruciating pain and this lump was about the size of a golf ball. I was sent off for a ultrasound guided biopsy. This lump was weird. It was hard on the outside but the inside was filled with fluid. They took a piece of the outside and went ahead and drained the fluid hoping it would relive some of the pain. They were wrong. About two days later the lump had refilled plus. It was the size of a softball now. The pain was horrible, I could barely eat.

I went in for my second surgery around September 22nd. They had to redo my free flap and remove the tumor. To rebuild my tongue this time they took a blood vessel from my upper left leg and muscle from my left ankle. A few days later my tongue was failing. Back to the OR. They then tried to use my right arm to rebuild my tongue. Everything was going good for a few days again. But then somehow it failed yet again. Back to the OR. Three surgeries in less then a week. This time they took a piece of muscle from under my breast and moved it up to create my tongue. They tried to use skin to cover the flooring of my mouth. A couple days went by, everything was going good. The muscle did take this time but because I had so many surgeries my neck opened up. The skin was so damaged they could not sew it back up.

Hopefully I can explain this so people can understand, I still am not sure if I understand it completely and I've lived it. The docs told me my neck was open and that these three holes in my neck tunneled straight into my mouth, you could take your finger put it into one of the holes in my neck and reach into my mouth. They were sending me home like this! I had a nurse come twice a week for a while and my mother took care of me. They had to pack these holes with gauze about twice a day. I was released from the hospital in early October. The docs decided they did not want to waste any more time, that I needed to have radiation and chemo as soon as possible. They let me heal for a while and then started my chemo and radiation end of November beginning of December 2010. I finished mid January 2011.

Things had been going good. Till mid Febuary. I started to get abscesses and infections. Was in and out the hospital trying to get rid of these. Finally about two weeks ago a lump developed on my jaw on the left side. No matter how many times they dug and opened this new lump it would not drain, it would not go away. They did a ultrasound guided biopsy and I found out about the middle of last week that my cancer was back for a third time. How can this be? I just finished radiation and chemo. How can it be back at all let alone this soon?

Tomorrow I go for another ultrasound guided biopsy. My pet scan had two areas of my neck lit up. One we know is the cancer the other we are hoping and praying is just one of the old abscess. Monday 22nd I go for my fifth surgery. They will be redoing my tongue yet again plus removing my jaw on the left side along with the tumor and any skin that is in that area. Also I believe they plan on opening up the right side of my neck some to check more lymph nodes. Its so hard to believe that in a year and a half I have had cancer three time. And the doctors still can not even figure out how I got it in the first place. I did smoke once upon a time for about 6 or so years but they said in order to get this I would have had to smoke non stop for 6 years or I would have needed to smoke 10 or more years.

It is all so frustrating and scary. But what can you do. All I can do is fight this and beat it. I have a two year old angel that I have to be on the earth for. And I refuse to go anywhere. She needs me here and healthy and I will be. I'm not really mad about getting this. Honestly I know God does it all for a reason. I know this is all for the greater good of this world and I know that even tho the cancer is bad good things have come out of it. I am overweight but since September I have been on a feeding tube unable to eat regular food. That is quite a diet you know LOL. Not a good way to lose weight!! But I can't do much. I have lost honestly probably about 100 lbs so far. Plus all of this has brought all of my family so close and it has brought me so much closer to God. So I can see some of the positive outcomes already. Well since I think I have pretty much written a book here LOL I am going to go ahead and give my hands a rest. Hopefully I did not leave anything out.