Okay - I was eating solids by day ten - omelets etc...(but I am told this is a little earlier than average. Rice is still hard because it's messy - and gets everywhere mashed foods too, then with limited tongue mobility cleaning the stuff out of your mouth is a task - I used to take a swig of water after each mouthful to swish it around and clear out the foods and help swallow. It takes time to figure out what works but usually it's easier to chew and swallow on the unaffected side.
Usually staging is based on size and I am sure If i am wrong someone here will correct me But it also has to do with how involved the cancer is. If there is at least one lymph that's visible on a CT scan - then there are possibly more
and that I believe does change the staging.
The grafting replaces what is taken out it's usually quite swollen. For the first couple of weeks making it hard to eat and swallow. Plus there are stitches inside his throat and and on his tongue as well as on the outside of the neck. Whether he will be able to speak is dependent on whether he has a trache put in temporarily or not - facing a ten hour surgery with a reconstruction my dr. Wouldn't do the surgery without one. This was the worst part for me. The trache they put in in the OR allowed me only to breath through the trache hole - with that in I couldn't talk - have a pad and paper nearby so he can write his requests. On day 3 they changed my trache to a fenestrated trache and from that point on I could talk (though it was very mumbly) and breathe through my nose and mouth.
Day 5 they removed my hrache completely and i was breathing through my nose and mouth but found it more comfortable to sleep if i was laying on my side and with some pillows and my head elevated that way my tongue could loll to one side making it easier to breath. You should ask the dr. if he will have a trache in.
I found the soft diet to be a pain and opted for small bites of softish foods like egg, soft small veggies, half grapes, berries etc.. I avoided seedy things though because those things can hide in your mouth. Juices and stuff are great - but if he's swallowing without pain and his good side has mobility then he should be okay with small bites as well as the juices.
I would play it by ear - see how he feels and what his pain level is.

Thanks so much - My post op was good - I have to have radiation and chemo but my dr is using it as insurance as he believes he got it all so I'm good with it. Best of luck with your hubby it's not an easy surgery but with your help he'll do well because you sound like a very supportive caregiver. My though and blessings are with you.