Hello Chickenlady,
I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through. Thank you for reaching out here. Recovery is different for everyone. Four years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 SCC on my tongue and went through surgery (removed and rebuilt half my tongue, trache tube for breathing, feeding tube) followed by radiation.
I found recovery from surgery to be faster than that from radiation. I learned to judge my radiation recovery in weeks/months rather than days/weeks. Keeping a journal was quite helpful. If I got frustrated, i could go back and read how life was just a few weeks ago.
Coupling this cancer coaster (felt like a roller coaster of emotions to me) with heart problems - ugh - hard! I kept a spreadsheet of all my key recovery activities - from food, to medicine, to exercises, to caloric intake, yoga, mindfulness, walks, time with loved ones (make myself call or email a friend or family), that love went a long way, time with God, etc. If i hit 90%+ for the day, i would treat myself to a favorite snack or something.
I will share that eventually I was able to speak to random people on the phone and be understood, eat at a restaurant, work again, jog again, surf again, etc. Each step was a small but important piece of my life back. One week, a half mile walk was my best, a couple months later i could jog a mile, etc. It will never be the same (have a lisp, scars, tight neck muscles, pain, etc) but I can also share that my life feels more meaningful today, I am more grateful, more present, etc.
Let us know particulars - hows drinking? eating? speech? social activity? medical team support?
