#7980 08-02-2006 02:43 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 71 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | OP  Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 71 | I have not been on the site for a few weeks because I just couldn't bring myself to tell you all that I lost my husband, Don, to this horrible disease on July 20, 2006 @ 2:55am.
He was originally diagnosised with tonsil cancer in August 2003. We found out that it mets to the lungs in November 2005. At the same time we found out that he had AML (leukemia) that was a result of the first chemo treatment (a very rare possibility). In January 2006 I let you all know that it had moved to his brain and he had successful brain surgery to remove the tumor. In April 2006 we found out that the chemo did not work and that the cancer was growing in his lungs and had now spread to his bones & liver.
Since April he went up and down not only with pain & fatigue but also with the emotions of knowing that he only had "months" left to live. I must say that he was a Marine to the very end...the strongest fighter I've ever met. Though he was only in the Marines from 1974-1978 the saying "once a Marine, ALWAYS a Marine" was my husband through and through. We moved into a new home the last few days of May (he couldn't climb stairs anymore) and I was able to witness the excitement for life back in his eyes. With the help of the steroids he was able to do the yardwork that he so loved. I do not know if he knew how close he was to his last days but I do know that on the 4th of July weekend he finished the yard the way he knew that "I" wanted it...that will forever amaze me. He also taught our 17 yr old nephew how to handle it from then on.
Because the cancer spread to his liver the end was very painful for him. On Tuesday night , July 18th, he made the decision to say his goodbyes to friends & family and let the doctor sedate him so he would be out of pain. I was able to watch as his body relaxed and he was able to sleep comfortably for the last couple of days.
My 23yr old daughter and I had the priveldge of holding his hands as he went on to a better place where I know he is painfree...and is joking with Danny Boy (they met at the Las Vegas gathering in 2004). We were surrounded by loved ones at that time & it will be forever engraved in my soul. Through a close friend's dream I was able to learn that Don had a smile on his face, though he was unconscious for 2 days, as he passed from this world to heaven. That is something that I will remember forever.
"THANK YOU" to all of you at the OCF, I truly do not know what Don & I would have done without you these past 3 years. Your loving words of support, not to mention your never-ending wisdom, helped us survive.
I will continue to support and check the OCF...you are my family.
With a heavy heart...Lorie
Lorie/wife of Don, DX:8-7-03, Tonsil cancer left side stage III, IMRT x 35, 6 chemo (Cisplatin/Taxol), clear CT Scan 12-26-2003. Mets to both lungs & AML 11-6-05, mets to brain Jan 2006, mets to liver & bones April 2006, passed away July 20, 2006.
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#7981 08-02-2006 02:55 PM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 | Dear Lorie- "Heavy heart" just about says it all. My heart is heavy for you because I know what you have been through athese last 3 years. Don is beyond the pain and suffering now and my wish for you is that you will be able to get there too. All the Caregivers here who have read about Don's death are with you in spirit now and sending you strength. I am glad you were holding his hand. Remember, One day at a time for you to get on with your life. Amy
CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease
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#7982 08-02-2006 03:22 PM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 235 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 235 | Lorie,
I'm saddened to read about Don losing his battle. He was a true fighter. I was touched by the story of Don finishing the yard the way he knew you wanted it. I'm sure that will be a special memory for you. My thoughts are with you and your family.
All my best,
Dave
Mom's caregvr. DDS failed to dx 01/03. Dx Stg IV SCC 05/03. Induct. chemo, IMRT, 5FU, H, Iressa, Neck disect, radiation. Dad's caregvr. Dx 01/04 Ext. Stg SCLC. Mets to liver/bone 08/04. Died 11/12/04. Mom tongue CA dx 06/13, hemiglossectomy (80% removed) 08/13. Clean margins and nodes, but PNI. 6/15/15: Tongue CA at base of remnant tongue. Declined further tx; hospice.
Died 10/13/15. What a long and difficult journey.
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#7983 08-02-2006 03:55 PM | Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 126 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 126 | Lorie,
I am also saddened to read about Don losing his brave fight against this evil illness. I wish to offer my deepest condolances.
Vin
CG to wife;
Jan 2005 DX SCC Tongue T2N1MO; RND surgery Mar 2005; 35 XRT and 4 cisplatin completed Jul 2005.
Dec 2006 tongue surgery, Scar tissue no cancer.
Feb 2010 neck node FNA - negative.
2010 ORN right jaw plus fracture
2015 ORN left jaw plus fracture
Feb 2016 Lower jaw reconstruction by Fibula free flap+titanium plate - Permanent G-tube
June 2016 Difficulty breathing - Permanent Trachea tube
Dec 2019 DX Cervical cancer - Stage 1 - Surgery Jan 16 2020.
15-20 esophagus/larynx dilations
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#7984 08-02-2006 04:13 PM | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | Lorie,
I am stunned, shocked and heartbroken by Don's passing. It was a gift to meet both of you in las Vegas. Don looked so healthy in the photos and when we sat and talked at the table together. I just can't believe he's gone. This has been a very depressing time on the forum. I am so sorry for your and the forums loss.
Love, Gary & Leah
Gary Allsebrook
***********************************
Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2
Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy)
________________________________________________________
"You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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#7985 08-02-2006 04:31 PM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 | Dear Lorie
I am so sad to read of Don's passing. I send condolences to you and your family. Don was fortunate to have you with him during his journey.
Thankyou for your loving post, Helen
RHTonsil SCC Stage IV tx completed May 03
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#7986 08-03-2006 12:29 AM | Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 99 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 99 | My heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this very difficult time...God Bless
Kerry
Kerry/wife of stephenm
StageIV - Base of Tongue T4N0M0
XRT x42 / Taxol and Carboplatin x4
Tx. Finished 5/08/06
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#7987 08-03-2006 03:41 AM | Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 72 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 72 | Lorie -
There are simply no words to express how sorry we are to hear of Don's struggle over the past few months and his passing. As a caregiver, my heart goes out to you and your family and can only imagine the pain you are in as well.
With blessing and love -
Carol
Carol R - caregiver to hubby Ken. Stage 4, SCC, BOT. 6/05 dx, 9/25/05 last tx, 5/06 stroke. Four years cancer free! Still taking things 1 day at a time.
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#7988 08-03-2006 05:33 AM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Dear Lorie,
I am so sorry Don lost his battle with this horrible disease. Seems like just yesterday we were all sitting in Vegas and now we have lost two. Please accept our deepest sympathies and we hope your memories will help heal your pain.
Love,
Eileen & Charlie
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Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#7989 08-03-2006 05:51 AM | Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 136 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 136 | Lorie,
I'm in tears reading of Don. You are one of the angel caregivers that we all appreciate so much. I'm glad you and Don had many goodtimes. I know both of you did all that you could.
love to you,
kathy and larryb
'01 diagnosis.. jaw hing and base of tongue. surgery not possible. JHU used radiation and chemo to seemingly rid me of the beast. peg for about 19 months. 100 cases of 24 cans of liquid food. 9 months eating therapy. 3x esophagus stretches. non-smoker. previously a social drinker.
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