Well, Jim had his 4th and final Erbitux treatment today along with his last radiation treatment on his leg. His rash is very bad - he has scabs and pimples from the waist up - Today is my daughter's 20th birthday and she met us at the restaurant...very embarassed, I might add with Jim's appearance. I have to tell you all, her birthday gift consisted of a card, a purse size photo album & a purse size phone-book for important phone #'s...the disappointment was all over her face, but I don't care - my girls EXPECT $100 bills, but I have since ceased all of that since they have been soooo resentful of Jim - he of course went to supper, endured the stares from other tables and never once complained. Where did we go wrong with our youth....here I am being a caregiver and taking care of my husband (as it should be) and my own family still riducules me and resents the fact that I am even in the same room with cancer. I know this is the right thing to do....even if it means losing my children for a short time - I hope they use it as an example for their lives in the future.

Jim is very frustrated as he is a contractor and with all the wind and hail that the Dallas/Ft. Worth area incurred, he wants to be out helping people and supporting his family...which BTW he is....we close on our new home, Wednesday and it will take him 90 days to gut it and remodel it...so hopefully that will keep him busy for a while. We have an appt. with his chemo Doc on Monday 4/21 and he goes for PET/MRI on 5/15.....will keep everyone updated.

Thanks again Brian, for making this forum what it is today...a place where we can celebrate, cry and ultimately be available for each other.

Hugs,
Paula


Hugs,
Paula

Paula I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this right now. I cannot imagine how torn up you must feel inside. Sending hugs and prayers your way tonight.

Paula,

I would call her, have a face to face or e mail her and tell her what the world is all about. The sooner she understands right from wrong, the better for all. You know the old saying about other peoples' problems.... Good luck.

I would like to say one thing. We ALL try to do the right thing in raising our children. There is no magic formula. But after it is all said and done, as parents we have to trust that they do the right thing. They will make mistakes, we all do, but for the most part, we hope they catch a glimpse of what we were trying to teach them. And you know what, they eventually do. Mine did! Hardest thing I had to learn was when My oldest turned 22, I was no longer responsible for her actions. She made a few hum dingers, but she learned. I had to sit back and allow her to learn. That was a hard one!

I am on Erbitux as well. I bought some Nurtrigena foaming cleanser. I use it twice a day. It does seem to help with the pustuals on my face. It is oil free. I have had 4 chemo treatments and will continue for 9 more weeks or so. So, I know what he feels like. I would say in two weeks you will notice a difference by using the foaming cleanser.

I can not offer advise on anything else. I more than likely overstepped my bounds as it was, not being a certifies counsler. But I wlll say a prayer for you that all goes well and you get the extra courage you need to continue.

John

stage 4 head and neck

Paula,
I'm sorry that you were hurt by your daughters reaction.
I have to tell you how impressed I am by reading that Jim went out to celebrate in light of all that he is going through. It says a lot for his feelings about you and your children. He may be difficult in dealing with his feelings about his tx's and such but it is plain to see that he has strong family values.
It's not an easy road that you both have to face but at least you have each other to lean on.
Donna

Paula,
sorry your offspring is that self centered. Look at the bright side.... at least you were not expected to fork over a new car.
Depending on where you are.... they actually EXPECT to get stuff like this for the great accomplishment of having passed high school ?!! Perhaps there will be a point where they morph from monsters into human beings (It just would be nice if they did that earlier, or (novel thought) start out this way).
Entitlement is an issue, (my car, my house my cell phone(s)). Part of this is definitely cultural and also generational, if I ever had dreamt of calling "our" car (i.e. parents car) MY car I would not be around to write this!
And, if you point things out, THEY say that yeah yeah... and you had to go to school through the snow uphill both ways. Which is correct (except for no snow in spring/summer/fall..., but two hills!)

.... of the soap box (and hills).

Where is Rumpelstilzchen (aka rumpelstiltskin) when you need him?
http://www.fln.vcu.edu/grimm/rumpeng.html

Markus

Thanks everyone for all of the support. Funny, that my own family has turned their backs, but I have gained a new appreciation for the human spirit! I have raised (2) very spoiled and entitled children, but their foundations are good, so hopefully they will figure it out....in the meantime, I'll take care of Jim and myself and keep reading....Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Well, Jim finished all of his treatment last Monday - or so we thought. Saw the Dr. today and she wants to continue the Erbitux for another 5 rounds....we were really let down as we thought that he would get a break. Jim is now complaining (not a lot), that his tongue is very hypersensitive even to Diet Cole and that tomato based food seems to set his mouth on fire...does anyone have any experience with that?

oh Paula I bet that was a disapoint to you guys. We haven't faced that yet since we are still in round 1. I guess maybe the "good" part is you guys will really be kicking cancers butt!!!!! I've heard several people talk about acidic items burning their mouths. You may want to post this under currently in treatment and see if you get more responses. Dan stopped colas because he said they tasted like soda water, but he was never bothered by the tomato based foods... Of course now he doesn't eat, but that's for another post
good luck

My tongue and mouth became hypersensitive by the end of treatment. The hypersensitivity lasted 5-6 months. Now, almost 10 months post treatment, my tongue is still sensitive but I can eat foods with tomatos, onions, garlic, and a bit of black pepper without problems.

marilyn