Carol,

Your information was a godsend. My dad smoked most of his life and I'm so glad to hear you are doing so well, you are truly an inspiration to others. I have been trying to beef dad up for the last month since we received the news. My dad has so much support, his wife is great and I have a younger brother. The hospital where I work has been so good-everyone, even the doctors are praying. I am going with him to his first appt. at Shenandoah Oncology in the am and I have heard great things about them. Please, keep praying for us, and we will certainly put you on our prayer list

Hello,

Nice to hear from you. Dad is really enjoying trying to beef up-everyone is fixing all his favorites. It is really nice to know that there is hope, just from reading all the posts from all of you. I am praying for your pet scan results.

D'Arcy

I am so glad your neighbor and your husband is doing well. My dad is a very healthy 62 yr old. He has no other health conditions and he had a negative chest xray and has not had a pet scan yet. I am going to get a second opinion. Many thanks for your input and support.

D'Arcy

Oh D'Arcy i'm so sorry, i know how your feeling (sort of) my Dad was diagnosed terminal almost 8 years ago now i remember very clearly how that felt, although my Dad had Esophagus cancer very advanced and not treatable. so sending you meantal hugs at this wirlwind time.

Saying this head and neck cancer is different and im not saying in anyway not to listent to your Dr's im sure they know what they are doing but i think your Dad has a chance to surprise them i know i shocked my Dr with how well my tumours responded to the treatment...while there is a chance there is hope.

please keep intouch with how he is doing....

sending hugs and prayers your way..Debz

Deb,

Nice to hear from you again. I went to my father's first oncology appt. today. They started him on deximethisone to reduce the swelling in his throat. He will start his first chemo tx. on Monday and it will last 6 hours. His radiation will start soon and they will place a feeding tube at that time. I feel exhausted already and this fight has only begun. It is really nice to have support and be able to talk to people who have dealt with this and really know how the other person feels. I just have resolved that we have to take it one day at a time and to keep positive-which is hard under the circumstances. Please keep him in your prayers and you will be in mine.
D'Arcy

Hi again, D'Arcy, I hope you and your dad can get a little rest this weekend. You have a lot of information to digest, and for us it was pretty mindboggling at first. Sounds like you, your dad, and his wife are doing a good job in keeping up the beefing up! Make the most of every opportunity to eat! I could still eat for a couple of weeks into my radiation, but then it became progressively more difficult. The one-day-at-a-time strategy is the best, you are so right. You know, there was one other thing that kept me going. I had this little thought every day:
"Well, if feeling like I do right now is the worst it gets, I can get through this for sure. Really, I can cope with this."
Sometimes it was a matter of just staying totally rooted in the present moment with that thought, which got me to the next moment, and then the next. Hmmm, when I write this, it sounds silly. But somehow, accepting each moment as OK helped me a lot.

I'm so glad you are surrounded with great support! That's a relief--I can't imagine how people get through this disease alone. I certainly couldn't have! I appreciate your taking the time to let us know more about your situation, and I am so grateful that you and your dad and his wife share so many great blessings--with each other and your healthcare team, you will all get through this as well as is humanly possible :-)
You know our prayers are with you, and we look forward to hearing your news!
Carol

Carol,

Hello again,hope you are having a great weekend. My husband (who is also a nurse) is going to meet my brother and his family and eat dinner with my dad and his wife before he starts chemo and radiation tomorrow. I can tell he is very scared when I talked to him last night. Have you read any books that you would recommend to us? Everyday I look at your diagnosis and the results and that keeps me positive and going day to day. I have good days and bad days with this. I am still working full time for now and some days its hard, but I have applied for a medical leave at work which gives me 3 months off per year and the hospital where we work couldn't be more supportive. I am so glad to talk to you and so glad you are doing so well. How is your family and I bet this was hard on them too. Well, enjoy the weekend and I have to go to church now, for I have lots of praying to do and then off to see dad. I will talk to you soon and many, many thanks for the support.

D'Arcy

D'Arcy and all about to deal with this Tx,

There is much to read on this site that is 100% applicable so you need not seek other sources. That said, the both of you need to take a deep breath and just view this as a big challenge. You haven't posted your husband's particulars under your Signature like most of us but I will assume he's a "normal" Stage IV, if there is such a thing. Anyway the Tx will be tough on both of you (and any children) but if you can keep a positive attitude throughout and know that the worst of it WILL END appx 9 to 10 weeks from the time he starts, you both will fare much better. I was a Stage IV and I didn't find this site until Brian "found" me on the internet 3 weeks post Tx and it was much much worse on my wife and I without all the support and information Brian, et al has assembled. Sorry I'm rambling, too much tax season clouding my brain but I firmly believe half the battle we face is the mental part which WE can control by being aware of it before hand much better than any doctor they assign to us.

Stay focused and keep him hydrated and nourished. Stay on top of his pain and don't give up until you find a combination that works for him. Keep in mind the worse usually for most is from the third week after beginning Tx till the third week post Tx, so it's ONLY about 7 weeks. Really when you put it in perspective it's not that long. Many, many of us have almost fully, as in 95 to 100%, recovered and in my case this experience has had some rewarding qualities.

David,

Thanks for the encouragement. My dad has read all the postings and really has become more optomistic since reading all the posts from all the survivors. He has stage IV SCC with the primary lesion on the base of his tongue with mets to the right side of his neck from mandible to clavicle. The mass has grown since his first CT scan. He has voice hoarseness and neck pain and stiffness now. This site has been a godsend for our family since the ENT surgeon told us it was not operable at this time and treatment would only be palliative. What a blow to all of us. My dad is a very healthy 62 year old. He has obtained a 2nd opinion from another facility who is much more positive and he will start agressive chemo and radiation treatments tomorrow. Thank you for your words of encouragement and keep him in your prayers and you will certainly be in ours. I am so glad you are doing so well.

D'Arcy

Darcy -- I too had a Dx of Stage IV Base of Tongue tumour, with metastasis to lymph node on right side of neck Had neck dissection, radiation, chemo, and am cancer free. Glad you got a second opinion. Tell your dad to stay positive, do what the doctors say, and take one step at a time.