| | Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 939 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) |  "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 939 | Brenda,
The fact that you are not sleeping might be the only reason you are depressed. I'm not saying that is the case, but lack of sleep makes everything a mountain to climb, so I would try to get this under control before anything else and 5 vocodin is not the answer! Please let your doctor know about your insomnia and work on that first and foremost...you are exhausted and that alone is enough to cause all the other miseries!
Deb
Deb..caregiver to husband, age 63 at diagnosis, former smoker who quit in 1997.
DIAGNOSIS: 6/26/07 SCC right tonsil/BOT T4N0M0
TREATMENT START: 8/9/07 cisplatin/taxol X 7..IMRT twice daily X 31.5.
TREATMENT END: 10/1/07
PEG OUT: 1/08
PORT OUT: 4/09
FOLLOWUP: Now only annual exams. ALL CLEAR!
Passed away 1/7/17 RIP Bill
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | Brenda, Is there anyway you can negotiate working part time with your boss until you get the energy back to work full time? It breaks my heart you might have to leave a job you love. Being able to work at a job you enjoy is such an important thing for so many people.
One thing that really sustained me through a more than a year of of battling two cancers at once (and then the time since of fighting to get energy, speech and swallowing back) was that my workplace was so supportive and willing to make accomodations to my less than full time energy (for over a year), continuing doctors visits and lack of vocal ability (I was teaching 4 live classes a semester before I was diagnosed).
I know I am unusually lucky in working at such a caring workplace (there is really a culture there of taking care of employees when they hit hard times and that's rare these days), but for someone such as you who has put in nine years of dedicated work at one place, you might be surprised what your boss would be willing to do to keep you. I hope you at least try asking for somehting like that before quitting. I know from personal experience with depression that one of its worst effects can be just assuming things are hopeless and not trying to fix them.
I hope you get some medication that helps with the depression too. Be sure to tell your doctor you're having insomnia as well as some antidepressants can make that worse (but others make it better). Unfortunately, I have past experience with that too.
Hang in there. Things will get better. You will get more energy, you just need a little more time.
Nelie
Last edited by Nelie; 02-22-2008 04:38 AM.
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 214 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 214 | Brenda--have you tried Ativan for sleeping? Wondering about your ear ringing---you did not have chemo, right? Is the ear ringing attributed to the radiation? I am having ear pain and ringing which my doctor doesn't think has to do with rads. Just curious. I really hope you get out of this funk soon. Take care.
Left tonsil SCC, HPV+. T2N0M0. Tonsillectomy 3-07, bilateral radiation, cisplatin 3x, Tx completed 6-06. Clear PET 4-01-2008.
Thyroidectomy 5-9-08, resulting in permanent surgically-induced hypoparathyroidism and adrenal problems. Bummer.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Girlcat,
Your ringing may very well be due to the Cisplatin. I had it for months post Tx and I have suffered permanent high frequency hearing loss.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 27 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 27 | Brenda,
I have felt just like you are feeling. Everyone has good advice. Get some help for your sleep. That will make things seem so much better once you are rested. Then I found it helpful to find a therapist just to listen to all the things that had changed in my life since my cancer diagnosis. She has been wonderful just to listen and let me vent. Make sure the person you see has some knowledge of what cancer patients go through. The worst part of my depression lasted about a month and then things started to improve. So, just hang in there which is much easier said than done. Things do get much better! Wishing you the best.
SCC of tongue removed 3/07 mod. left neck dissection. Tumor reappeared 6/07. Removed 8/07, right neck dissection, free flap from wrist for tongue graph. Radiation 30 (IMRT), chemo cisplatin 4 rounds finished 11/07.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 148 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 148 | Thank you all for the advise. I go see my ENT tomorrow and I guess he will tell me about this ringing but my face is so swollen and I really have no pain in my ears its just the ringing. I can't hear worth a dern either. I have thought about getting into some counseling but I come up with every reason not to. Dumb huh. I worked all day yesterday outside and this morning I look and feel like someone took a baseball bat to me. SCREAM! My boss is cool and he will let me work the hours I can and if I need to go home he doesn't mind but I work in a garden center and the pollens and allergins seem to be just worse on me now. Hopefully as I get strenghth back it will be ok. thanks again
49 years young 9/2007 Squamous Cell Carcinoma 33 rad treatments. One year later, 9/17/2008 50 years old through the Grace of God. last check up all clear. Living life as it comes to me.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | Could you wear a mask that would filter out the pollens and allergens?
As for the counseling, when I was diagnosed with two kinds of cancer practically at once, the director of the breast cancer support center here (which has since turned into a support center for all cancers, a good change) had some funding for short term therapy for women in need. She heard my story of two cancer diagnoses in two weeks and decided I qualified. I think she actually arranged contacting the therapist and everything--I was so overwhelmed. I know the therapist was recommended by this center as someone who had worked with cancer patients. She was GREAT and a real sanity saver to me for over a year after that diagnosis. I think she is the reason I never did get clinically depressed. And she lived very close and had used to work as a massage therapist before becoming a counselor so when I was in treatment and my vocal chords were too fried for me to talk, she made a house call and gave me foot massages......
Brenda, Take good care of yourself here. You've been through the wringer. See a doctor about a prescription for the insomnia and depression (I would not rely on Ativan too much, unlike antidepressants it can be addictive) and see if you can find a therapist for a few visits anyway. You might be surprised how much it helps to have someone to listen.
Nelie
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 148 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 148 | Thanks for the input Nelie. I think that if so many little things just didn't make a big thing I would be fine. I went out with my daughter today to have a little mom and me bonding time and had to give it up. When I see the ent I am going to ask him about something for my sinus problem. Its weird they drain and pocket in my throat of my jowls or where ever they can pool. And then I get to look like a freak. As a rule I look for the good things in every bad so if I was going to find it in this at least I won't have to buy a mask for Halloween.lol
49 years young 9/2007 Squamous Cell Carcinoma 33 rad treatments. One year later, 9/17/2008 50 years old through the Grace of God. last check up all clear. Living life as it comes to me.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | [quote=Lepreckaun]I think that if so many little things just didn't make a big thing I would be fine. [/quote]
I know exactly what you mean by this. But those little things will get much much better over time. As for the Halloween joke, I had to have my two bottom front teeth pulled before chemo/rad treatment and when Halloween rolled around (5 months after the end of treatment) my face was still so swollen and I was still missing those teeth, I joked I would paint myself orange and go as the great pumpkin!
Hang in there......
Last edited by Nelie; 02-24-2008 03:25 PM. Reason: typos
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 148 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 148 | I have four teeth in the bottom of my mouth. I wish he would have taken them too. I guess We should be happy that we can joke about our looks but I was no beaty queen to begin with. LOL I would like to ask yo something though, I notice that something I said is in your answers and in a box, what is that?? Just wondering. Thanks Brenda
49 years young 9/2007 Squamous Cell Carcinoma 33 rad treatments. One year later, 9/17/2008 50 years old through the Grace of God. last check up all clear. Living life as it comes to me.
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