Wow...its really tough to see her this way. She is awake and coherant and she can write on a pad of paper. My sister stayed with her all day today. She is in a room with four other people who had similar sugeries so its not quiet and a bit uncomfortable for her. I nearly passed out a couple times and I felt really sick to my stomach. I had a difficult time seeing her like this but I know things will start getting better soon.

They had to cut through her lower lip all the way down her chin and then under her jaw down both sides. The dr warned us that if he didn't have good blood flow on the radiated side he would have to cut all the way across soooo she is incredibly stitched up and swollen and she has about 13 tubes all over the place. Her face is swollen and they took a huge skin graph from her leg. Her pain is basically in her leg...she had to have a blood transfusion today because she had lost a lot of blood and she was very anemic. But she is communicating and she is very scared to see what she looks like. I told her to try to sleep lots to get past this difficult part. I think she will be better when she moves out of the room with four people to her own room.

Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers..its means a lot to us!!!

Take Care,
Dani

Hi Dani,

Four people to one room...........wow, that would make me uncomfortable also. I had a private room throughout my surgery and time in the hospital.

Everything you are saying sounds right, so take that as a good thing! I warned your mom about the tubes, there are so many of them and they are scary. I also had a blood transfusion and ALL my pain was in my leg. I was cut through the lip and down the chin, under the jaw like your mom was. It takes time for all of it to heal and for the scars to fade but they DO heal and they DO fade. You are going to be AMAZED at how well they will heal. Your mom will look like your mom again in no time. Don't let her get spooked by how she looks right now.
Is she on a morphine pump for the pain? That's what I had for the first 5-6 days. Make sure they address the pain in her leg, I remember how much it hurt and she shouldn't have to deal with it.
Take care,
Minnie

I know its crazy that there are 4 people in one room. Its a pretty new hospital too or at least part of the hospital at UCLA. My daughter was just in the hosptial 2 weeks ago (she had bronchitis and a partial lung collapse) and she had a huge ocean view room all to herself and heres my mom with this traumatic sugery and shes sharing a room with 4 people. She loves her ENT though and this is the hospital that he works at...good news though they took her off the monitor so she should be moving to her own room soon.
Today she was a lot better than yesterday. She hasn't seen herself yet...I don't think she should until the swelling goes down a bit. Yes she has the morphine pump for pain and the pain is in her leg. When I went in yesterday the first thing she did was point to her notepsd and she wrote "pain button" She had been feeling around for it for quite a while so she was relieved when I got there. Thanks again for everything Minnie your posts really help us all

Dani

Good morning Dani,
Courage and determination come in many forms and they are a common occurence here on this site. Both you and your mom have shown all again how to do this with strength and dignity. THANKS. I have been a member her for almost a year and am constantly amazed at the bravery exhibited on this site. I have read and learned much here and have tried to contribute where ever I can, however You hit the jack pot by hooking up with Minniea, I have read and listened to her, she is on top of her game and there are many great suppotive people here and she is in that Top echelon, praise her and learn from her and model her behavior and you will be giving back to this site and helping someone down the line. Be strong for your mon, be strong for you, be strong for us and keep fighting the good fight, courage and bravery are rewarded with the hope that we give to the next person climbing up this mountain.
Lenny

Thank you Lenny for your post. Minnie has been there for me from the beginning of my moms whole ordeal...she is definately awesome! I can't say enough nice things about her. I used to post under an old user name "DaniJams" and I think I had over 200 posts under that name so I have been around for a while and there are so many wonderful people on this board that have been incredibly supportive and helpful.

Update on my mom "Barbara". Well she is doing fine. She got out of the hospital on Thursday - Thanksgiving so her stay was only 7 days. She was definately ready to get home. She looks good her face is still pretty swollen especially on the good side where they wired everything from. Her stitches & staples will probably stay in for at least another 7 days because they want to make sure everything is good and healed especially in the radiated areas. Her mouth looks awesome besides missing the teeth on that side it is healing very well. She can limp around and her leg looks pretty yucky but like everybody says a small price to pay. She is not on any painkillers now...this is the first time in many many months which is so good. Her mouth is opening much more than it had been. She will probably get the ok to start eating by mouth tommorrow which she can't wait to do. She says she is starving for food. Her peg tube is fine but she says she really misses being able to eat and drink only problem is she doesn't know how well she will be able to swallow. She says she will have to learn all that stuff over again.

Last night my 3 year old daughter offered her "Big Gramma" (my mom is 5'8 and my husbands mom is barely 5'0) bandages she said she has Dora, Diego and Spiderman for all her booboos. Then she did a "feel better dance" for her which had us all cracking up. Halfway through she said "gramma are you feeling better"? It was sooo cute! But all in all everything is good tommorrow we will get the results of the bone biopsy. This takes longer than the tissue biopsies but I feel confident that things will be fine. I will keep you all posted.

Thanks again!
Dani

Lenny......thank you for the kind words. Dani and her mom have given as much to me as I've given to them...that's the beauty of this board, it's so evenly a give and take situation. Getting to the point of being the one that is giving advice rather then needing it is such a strong sign of surviorship!
Dani, I am SOOOO happy for you and your family that your mom is home and feeling so well. Just in time for the holidays, such a blessing. Tell her to take it easy and allow herself to heal. Eating will make her feel like a new person, trust me. I'm happy to hear that she's doing well with her leg, I had such trouble with mine after the surgery. You're little one doing the healing dance made me smile. I remember my 3 year old grandaughter helping to dress the ulcers on my foot, she would get right in there and take care of Nana. She is 7 now and is STILL like that. It's amazing how intuitive young kids are. My 2 year old grandaughter, Mia, instinctively knows that there is something "different" about my mouth, due to the surgeries, etc. She loves to look right at my mouth and give me a very gentle kiss then look right in my eyes. There is just this look in her eyes that I can't explain but her understanding is so obvious. And get this, my grandaughters also have "names" for each of us grandmothers. My mom and myself are both called Nana.........but my mom is "big nana" as she's older and I'm little nana. Growing up, I had three Nana's, so we named them by where they lived.....Nana in Canada, Nana in Veazie, and Nana in Orrington...............I get such a laugh about that now.
Give your mom a huge hug from me and tell her to email me when she gets up to it.
Much love,
Minnie

I can just picture a three year old doing a "feel better dance". How cute! What else could you possibly need to feel better?

The dance was perfect...my mom called me the next day in tears thanking me. Its so cute how they make up their own little names for everybody. We were out on our fishing boat this weekend. We were lobster fishing and Keeley says "I don't like monsters" (lobsters, for some reason she can't say it)"I like shrimp. Then she says your momma shrimp and I'm baby shrimp and thats dadda shrimp. All night I was momma shrimp. She has such a funny personality.

GREAT NEWS......We got all the biopsy reports back from the bone and there is no trace of cancer anywhere. You can't even imagine the relief we all feel. Now we really feel like life goes on because we have always lived with the unknown because of that exposed bone. Her doctors say she is healing superbly!!!! We are estatic.

I'll give her big hug for you Minnie and tell her to send you an email soon. Thank you again for being so wonderful.

Hugs to you all,
Dani