Thanks everyone for your replys. What a great group that takes the time to reassure each other!. I am doing better. Today I took the Thrush meds and for the first time I didn't gag!!. Its been several hours now so I am going to try eating next.

I went to my regular Dr for my Thyroid meds and told him about the anxiety and he just wrote me a prescription for low dose zanix(sp) Just having the prescription actually made me feel better! I've only taken it a few times but it did help. I also found out that for some reason my thryoid instead of getting worse was actually working the other way and I need to reduce my synthroid from .175 to .1. I have had experience with too much of that stuff before and that could very well effect my anxiety level.

The other thing I did was agree to volunteer when the Dems called me. It was funny, cause my husband had just said why don't you try going down to the democratic headquarters and offering to do something and they called the next day. I can't do any phone calling I told them ( I still don't talk that much) but they had other things for me.

I am 55 and have grandkids. They live in Iowa City where my medical treatments are which is 80 miles from here. I always get to visit the 3 and 5 year old when I go down there which of course like many of you said is very good for depression.
And like some of you said I just decided to quit thinking about how bad I feel. When I start getting anxious I try the walk and try real hard to find some thing to get my mind off my self.
I am so fortunate to have many many friends and I have been keeping them all informed through out my ordeal. I am surprised how many people appreicate you keeping them in the loop. When ever they write or call and ask I tell them and it does help.

I was at the radiology Dr yesterday and he says I am doing good for as baddly as they beat me up. He also said that I am not going to be able to go back to work at the end of Sept like they had originally suggested, he is now talking first of November. and then part time. I am a letter carrier for the USPS. I am not sure how I feel about that, I really do miss work but I know I am not ready now. He also got on me about losing too much weight. My goal today is to drink all my food, no tube, and to get more down. Good to have goals eh!

Thanks again for your help everyone

Mica

Mica,

I'm very, very, very glad to hear you're doing much, much better. Good for you to find a place to volunteer at. I'll bet that helps you get into the swing of things when you return to work. I'm still adjusting to work life - started working four hours a day and have added an hour/day each week. It seemed to really help - just a suggestion when you return.

Sending good thoughts to get that weight on, keep cheery, and continue getting better.

Sabrina

Keep on top of your TSH level. Do you know what it was before you had radiation? Also, you are not supposed to take calcium, iron and I think zinc until 4 hours after the synthoid, or the synthroid has a lesser effect. I get my TSH level checked every 3 months and more often when it goes off my normal 2.5. I can usually tell because I either start eating everything in sight (too low) or I start falling asleep while driving (too high). Out of whack thyroid as a zillion different side effects.

Take care,
Eileen

Mica,
It is an odd thing, but most of us don't get depressed when we are going in every day or even twice a day for radiation. I recall ringing the bell to signify the end of radiation and thinking that I now I would be happy. Instead, I found myself sitting around the house, feeling lousy and depressed, with nothing to look forward to but the next tube feeding. The only thing that made me happy was thinking that I had enough pain pills that I could end it all if need be.

Then I started taking a 2 mile walk in the neighborhood each day. I made sure that I had a couple of errands to run, even if they were just little trips to the grocery store or drug store, and I would have at least one friend a day stop by. It was at this time that I was lucky enough to discover the OCF forum and that really helped too! I also contacted the social worker at M.D. Anderson and found out about a men's support group.(Unfortunately there are not many oral cancer support groups since our type of cancer is not that common.) The social worker also turned me on to an organization called Cancercare, that provided 6 free sessions with a psychologist for cancer patients. I went only once because within two weeks I was feeling so much better. Don't worry about the feeding tube. I kept mine for another 9 or 10 months after treatments ended. It was really no big deal.

Anyway, it is quite normal to feel depressed when treatment ends. It sounds like you are right on schedule. I learned a lot of patience during recovery, and that is not a bad thing.

Hang in there...you have so many wonderful things to enjoy as you feel better.

Danny G.

Hi Mica:
Danny is right on with his commentary above. He was extemely depressed (but still humorous for a Texan!) for a long time post-treatment. It took a village but he is in a really good place last I heard from him. Please take your inspiration from honest guys like Danny-depression is part of the deal and it does get better.

Kim