I want to know if any of the guys have had a problem with impotence since having radiation treatments for any kind of head and neck cancer. Before Jim's cancer diagnosis, we had an excellent sex life. After he went through the surgery and radiation, it has been more than 2 years now and he still can not get an erection. I miss that part of our life, and I know he does too. Do you think that radiation to your neck might affect the pituitary glands or thyroid glands, or some other gland that could this cause the problem? He won't go to the doctor about this because he is embarassed about it, I think.

Hi Karen,

I am 6 weeks post op fron a neck disection with a pech flap to rebuild my throat. I noticed I have no interest in sex as this cancer is dominating my thoughts 24/7. I will start radiation in about 1 week for 27 treatments. Others on the board have told me this is normal not to be interested in sex when going thru treatment. I was also told that your urge for sex will return as you heal. It may take longer for some but I would not be afraid to try viagra if he is 2 years out. Good luck and i hope everything works out for you. Daniel

Hi Karen,
He should really see a urologist about it. My libido was pretty much back to normal after 6 months from start of treatment. It was actually a sign of returning normalcy.

The thyroid is a "master regulator" gland for the other glands in the body. It could have an effect and the urologist would consider that I am sure.

It could be a psychological thing based on his perception of himself after the surgery.

I would look for a medical solution first.

You know, Gary, you may be right about how he feels about himself now. He had to have all his teeth removed before radiation and he is more self concious about that than he is about his scars from the surgery. He does not even want ME to see him without his teeth. Maybe he feels "less" than before somehow. Yeah, I thought about viagra. We moved from Atlanta, GA area to Pharr, TX so we are 12 miles from Mexico. If you can say the name of ht drug in the pharmacy you can buy it "almost free" over there, no prescription necessary.
Thank you for your reply.

Hi, OK I am not a guy but i thought I would throw this in. I have had 9 surgerys and pain killers after each. I started to notice a trend. Surgery, pain meds, no intrest. Go off pain meds, intrested. Repeat this way every time.This could just be my system, but it is a thought that medications cause us to be less romantic???!!!!!

Thanks gnelson. But, Jim has been off all meds and no other treatments since 5/30 01. This is almost 2.5 years, and there has been nada, no improvement in the situation. Anyone got any other ideas about this?
Thanks to everyone who has responded.

If I were you I would converse with his dr's about this. Based on my experience it is not thyroid if he has no other symptoms. (I have been through a low thyroid problem and it makes you feel very crappy but no Viagra was required) The radiation didn't cause a problem for me either but you should ask the radiation dr.

Pain meds will sometimes but you have ruled that out. It is such an important thing (usually) in a marriage that I don't think you should wait. I could imagine it is something he needs to address through therapy.

You don't mention his age but he is now 2 years older and this could be a problem totally seperate from the treatments. Fortunately there are things you can do about it.

Take care

He should probably see his MD or maybe even a therapist. It took my husband a while but he did get his groove back after six months post treatment. He said fear held him back from trying. We went on vacation and that seemed to do the trick. I hope this is not too much information (my husband would probaly be upset if he knew I was posting this, so let's keep it our little secret.) This is a huge part of recovery for the survior and their partner and should be discussed Good luck. LM

Mark, yep, we are both older (hehehe). He is 53 and I am 51. And elem510, yep, if Jim knew I was posting this he would be mortified.!
Sometimes I feel selfish worrying about this one thing when others have so many other problems and other limitations due to their own cancer stories. But Mark is right, this is an important part of marriage, and I miss it. It may not even be related to the cancer or treatments at all, it just manifested itself during that time period, so Jim attributes it to that. I can not get him to go to a doctor for a follow up exam, he says he is cancer free so he doesn't need to go. Now that worries me more than the impotence thing.

That's NOT old and I wonder if he is more worried than you about things? The mind is where sex really happens and if the mind is distracted with worry,... well then maybe?

He needs to get back to have a follow up dr's visit! He is surely right that he is cancer free but think how much fun it will be to have professional confirmation of that fact!

By the way I like the use of the word MORTIFY here! it is the ultimate pun (think about it) :p :p sex is an important part of life and living...

Get him in to see the dr. tell him I said so and don't make me come down there! (unless it is winter here)

Mark, any time you want to come down here, just let me know. Jim and I are managers of a rv resort for winter Texans. We moved down here in October last year for the job from Georgia. If you don't have an rv, I could find a rental for you. I know where all the good Mexican restaurants are now, too.