#5143 03-11-2005 07:50 AM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 23 Member | | Member
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 23 | Hi, all. Didn't really know where to go to post this message and never wanted to have to post it. Many of you have read of my husband's cancer over this past year and so very, very many have given me advice and support through this site. Rusty's cancer came back at the end of January (1 year from diagnosis) and he passed away February 21st, as all treatment options had been used. This has been a terrible, terrible few weeks for me and my loss is undescribable but I wanted to thank you all for your support, patience, understanding, and help throughout this year. A friend of a friend was just diagnosed with stage III oral cancer and I promptly referred her to this site. Thank you all once again and, if you get a chance, see what a friend my husband was to his many fans (he was a songwriter/singer) by checking our website: www.rustymchugh.com His infectious laugh, smile, and friendship will be sorely missed. Millie McHugh | | | 
#5144 03-11-2005 08:59 AM | Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 89 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 89 | Dear Millie,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. It is scary to all of us how fast and often random this cancer can be. Until finding this board, so many of us feel isolated because we don't know anyone with a similar cancer. I feel the guilt of a survivor as I write to you now. I've now lived with this disease longer than your husband did. Yet, I realize that I could easily have been him.
Remember the fun, his smiles, and what he would say to you. A piece of him truely lives on in you, and I am sure that while the suffering you both went through was horrendous, I am sure that it often brought you closer together and brought more of a tenderness.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you strength as you go through this difficult time,
Michelle
History of leukoplakia <2001-2004. SCC lateral tongue 9/03; left radical neck dissection & hemiglosectomy 10/03, T2-3,N0M0; 28 IMRT radiation completed 12/03. 30 HBO dives Oct-Nov 04 for infections and bone necrosis -mandible.
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#5145 03-11-2005 09:56 AM | Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 102 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 102 | Dear Millie,
I was so sorry to hear of Rusty's passing. I did not put the connection together. My Mom is one of Rusty's biggest fans. She even went to New Orleans to see him. She called me the other day and told me of his passing. She was out of town and didn't learn of it through email till after the service. She was so upset as she wanted to attend. We all loved watching him perform. He was truly one of a kind. I will keep you in my prayers.
Julie
Julie
Wife to Kelly
SSC tonsil Stage IV
July 2000
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#5146 03-11-2005 11:14 AM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 482 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 482 | Millie, I was very sorry to read of Rusty's passing. It is always sad to note the passing of one of the members of this site. God bless.
Regards, Kirk Georgia
Stage IV, T1N2aM0, right tonsil primary, Tonsilectomy 11/03, 35 rad/3cisplatin chemo, right neck dissection 1/04 - 5/04.
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#5147 03-11-2005 11:36 AM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 | Millie,
You have my condolences on the passing of Rusty.
We grieve with you. Your love for him shines through your postings. He was a lucky man to have you as his caregiver. He will be missed by all who knew him.
Danny Boy
Daniel Bogan DX 7/16/03 Right tonsil,SCC T4NOMO. right side neck disection, IMRT Radiation x 33.
Recurrance in June 05 in right tonsil area. Now receiving palliative chemo (Erbitux) starting 3/9/06
Our good friend and loved member of the forum has passed away RIP Dannyboy 7-16-2006
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#5148 03-11-2005 01:09 PM | Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 90 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 90 | Millie,
I was so saddened to read about the death of your husband, Rusty. By your postings, it was obvious how much you loved him. I can't even imagine the grief you must be feeling.....my heart is wrenching for you. My prayers are with you and your family.
Take care,
Shelley
Caregiver to husband, Ron. Throat cancer, Stage II. No Chemo or Surgery. Completed 35 Radiation Treatments in November 2004.
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#5149 03-11-2005 01:53 PM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 251 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 251 | Millie,
I am so sorry for your loss. Every caregiver of a cancer patient is suffering with you right now.
Anita
Husband Dx 12/02 Stage 4 Tonsil Cancer T1N2bM0; surgery, radiation, chemo 1/03 - 4/03.
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#5150 03-11-2005 07:55 PM | Joined: Oct 2016 Posts: 284 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2016 Posts: 284 | Millie,
My heart goes out to you...You and your family are in my prayers...
Hugs,
Dani
Originally joined OCF on 12/12/03 as DaniO or Danijams
Dani-Mom SCC BOT & floor of mouth surgery-recur then surgery/rads & chemo completed 3/04
surgery 11/06 to remove dead bone & replace jaw w/ leg bone & titanium plate
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#5151 03-12-2005 06:11 AM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 | Millie, my thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless You and give you strength. Love, Carol
Diagnosed May 2002 with Stage IV tongue cancer, two lymph nodes positive. Surgery to remove 1/2 tongue, neck dissection, 35 radiation treatments. 11/2007, diagnosed with cancer of soft palate, surgery 12/14/07, jaw split. 3/24/10, cancer on tongue behind flap, need petscan, surgery scheduled 4/16/10
---update passed away 8-27-11---
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#5152 03-12-2005 07:11 AM | Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 217 Platinum Member (200+ posts) | | Platinum Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 217 | What a blessing that Rusty was in your life - and that he was able to share his talents with so many others. I pray that God grants you peace over the coming months. Rusty will never truly leave you.
Love
Nicki
Nicki, wife of Thomas
dx July 2004, SCC, Stage 4 Tonsil. Tx begun 8/4/04. Cisplatin/Xeloda x 4; IMRT 7 wks, 8/7 - 10/25/04 Modified Radical Dissection (right), Selective Dissection (Left) 12/10/04.
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#5153 03-12-2005 01:37 PM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Dear Millie,
I am so sorry to hear of Rusty's passing. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. May your many happy memories and his music help you to deal with your grief.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#5154 03-13-2005 02:32 AM | Joined: Oct 2002 Posts: 546 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2002 Posts: 546 | Millie,
I am so sorry to hear about Rusty. My heart goes out to you and yours. At times your grief will seem overwhelming, but know that it will ease with time. Wishing you strength for the days ahead.
With sympathy,
Rosie
Was primary caregiver to my daughter Heather who had stage IV base of tongue SCC w/ primary recurrence. Original diagnosis August 21st, 2002. Primary recurrence March 18th, 2003. Died October 6th, 2003.
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#5155 03-14-2005 05:35 PM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | Millie,
I am so sorry to hear the sad news about Rusty. There are no words that will make your pain go away but I do offer my sincerest condolences and pray for comfort and healing for you and your entire circle of family and friends that you shared with Rusty. Thank you for sharing the website.
God Bless,
Ed
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
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#5156 03-15-2005 10:58 AM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 156 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 156 | From my family to yours, our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Sabrina | | |
#5157 03-29-2005 10:02 AM | Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 Member | | Member
Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 | I am very sad to hear of your loss, may you treasure his music and his memories and all the happy times , Thinking of you and sending my prayers love charm
charm
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#5158 03-29-2005 10:02 AM | Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 Member | | Member
Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 18 | I am very sad to hear of your loss, may you treasure his music and his memories and all the happy times , Thinking of you and sending my prayers love charm
charm
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#5159 06-23-2005 06:43 AM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 23 Member | | Member
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 23 | Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. It has been a tough four months for me. I came back today thinking to see if there is advice or comfort I can give to other caregivers. I know the past year + has been hard for me but was a treasure in some ways. Although any type of cancer is horrible and threatening, I try to keep in mind that it did allow that all-too-precious time for Rusty to get his affairs in order and to come to grips with the end of his life. It also allowed me the precious moments and hours with him. While he felt lousy so much of the time, he kept his complaints to a minimum (personally, I would have been breaking plates and yelling a lot) and we had so many good talks.
Anyway, will check back occasionally to see if I can provide support. Thank you all again. Millie McHugh | | |
#5160 06-23-2005 09:08 AM | Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 156 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 156 | prayers and hugs your way millie . may god give you strengh to bere your loss
regards maz god bless | | |
#5161 06-23-2005 12:51 PM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 | Thamk you for sharing how you are doing and offering support to those who need it. I hope time will ease the pain somewhat for you.
All My Best, Danny Boy
Daniel Bogan DX 7/16/03 Right tonsil,SCC T4NOMO. right side neck disection, IMRT Radiation x 33.
Recurrance in June 05 in right tonsil area. Now receiving palliative chemo (Erbitux) starting 3/9/06
Our good friend and loved member of the forum has passed away RIP Dannyboy 7-16-2006
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#5162 06-26-2005 04:10 PM | Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 155 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 155 | Millie
Glad you are choosing to stay...you are needed here. I am sure of it...Peace to you Denise
Caregiver Husband Bob SCC tongue t2nomo Partial Glosectomy/neck disection 6/04 rad ending 9/23/04
Osteoradio-necrosis of the Mandible (ONJ) DX 6/09 Surgery 7/2/09 mandible resection/ several teeth extracted/ neck dissection NO FLAP and aggressive antibiotic therapy.
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