#48696 08-24-2007 09:36 AM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) |  Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Mandi,
I am so sorry that you and Dennis have to deal with this again. Maybe this time, he will also finally quit smoking. Yours is a post I hoped I would never have to read. You fought so hard to get him back on track.
Here's hoping they get it all and he has learned that cigarrettes are as dangerous as alcohol. Trust me, I know how difficult it is to quit, but I managed although I was a nasty cuss for a few months.
Take care,
Eileen
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Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#48697 08-24-2007 11:28 AM | Joined: May 2006 Posts: 57 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | OP Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: May 2006 Posts: 57 | You guys are a constant reminder to me that there is still good in the world. Even if you can't see it on a day to day basis, it's still here. Bless you all.
Brian can tell you. I was one of the first on this board years ago. I gave him a hard time........I was so MAD! At everything, and nothing. It didn't matter.
At the time, Dennis was a raging alcoholic, in total denial, with two small boys to raise. I threw in the towel, called his boss, and told him how bad it was at home. Thank God, he supported me, and told Dennis that he wouldn't have a job if he didn't do rehab. It was so bad that I had my, and the boys, clothes in the truck in case he refused. I was leaving. He knew it was his last chance at a family. And he did it!!!!!.....He never had another drink, But....he didn't put down the cigarettes. How could I berate him, especially since he had come so far?
Now, after five blessed years of pretending that nothing happened.....this disease is back. I know, he knows, the family knows, that the smoking had a direct effect, but how do you beat someone up when they've been through so much?
You don't know........my husband is a wonderful, hard-working honest person....he just smokes. And now, we are reliving this nightmare, and I'm afraid that we won't get anymore free passes.
I still love him with all my heart. I don't want to lose him.
Mandi
Stage III tonsil, Dx 8/14/2002,chemo and rad...reoccurance 8/3/07,Base of Tongue,vocal cords,stage IVA,total larynectomy and glossectomy 9/4/07 with pec flap...reoccurance Nov. '08 and Feb. '09 (positive margins remained after each operation) Second pec flap May 7, 2009. Still positive margins.
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#48698 08-24-2007 12:24 PM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 510 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 510 | ...Mandi: You need not say anything about the smoking possibly causing a reocurrance...rest assured that he is kicking his own butt at this time....You said it all "I love him with all my heart"..that is all that matters.
God be with you and your family during this difficult time. Our prayers are with you.
Lois & Buzz in NC
CG to 77 y/o hubby;SCC Alveolar Ridge; Wake Forest Baptist Hosp surgery: 07/19/07; bi mod radical resection/jaw replacement;
T2 N2-B M0 Stage IV-A
28 IMRT +
6 Paclitaxel/Carboplatin
Getting stronger every day!
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#48699 08-24-2007 05:38 PM | Joined: May 2006 Posts: 57 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | OP Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: May 2006 Posts: 57 | Dear Margaret,
I'm sorry, but my email will not work from this site.
You are an extraordinary person and I thank you for your concern.
Unfortunately, Dennis is facing surgery like he has faced the days in the past five years. If I try to talk to him, he walks out or makes an excuse to get mad and leave. He has never owned up to this. Now it's up to me.
Thank you though...........God bless
Mandi
Stage III tonsil, Dx 8/14/2002,chemo and rad...reoccurance 8/3/07,Base of Tongue,vocal cords,stage IVA,total larynectomy and glossectomy 9/4/07 with pec flap...reoccurance Nov. '08 and Feb. '09 (positive margins remained after each operation) Second pec flap May 7, 2009. Still positive margins.
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#48700 08-25-2007 06:52 AM | Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 388 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 388 | Mandi - Emmylou said it beautifully. Remember, a recurrence doesn't signal a detour on Dennis's life path. He's also in my prayers for a second full recovery. Warmly, JaneP
Husband: 3 SCC gum and cheek cancers 2002, 2005, 2006: surgery only. Scans clear after removal of small, well differentiated, non-invasive cancers. No radiation. 4th SCC lip diagnosed 4/13/07 - in situ, removed in biopsy. More lip removed 2/8/08 - dysplasia. 2 Biopsies 3/17/09 no cancer (lichenoids)
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#48701 09-04-2007 04:37 AM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 718 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 718 | Mandi,
I hope Dennis' surgery went well today. And, I hope you and your kids are doing well too!
Margaret
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C/G: Husband, 48 (at time of dx)
Dx 5/18/07 SCC, BOT, lymph node involvement. T1N2BM0. (Stage 4a, G2/3)
Tx 6/18 - 8/3/07, IMRT x 33 Cisplatin x3 (stopped after 1st dose due to hearing issues). Weekly Erbitux started 6/27/07 completed 8/6/07.
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#48702 09-04-2007 07:32 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 | Me too Mandi---I hope everything went fine and you know where we are
Brenda
Brenda in UK--Diagnosis 30/5/07--undifferentiated carcinoma in right jawbone and muscles. Stage 4
6/7/07--new diagnosis primary is in lung. Finished 4cycles of palliative carboplatin/gemcitabine
therapy September 07
Now dying to live!
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#48703 09-04-2007 07:47 AM | Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 |
Liz in the UK
Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.
Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
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