Believe it or not this is my first entry into a chat room so I do not relly know how it works. Here is a brief summary of my situation and a question.

Earlier this year, my 53 year old sister had an operation to remove cancer of the sinus. The operation required removal of the upper soft palate (mouth, including teeth) on the right side and removal of her eye...leaving her with a large cavity on that side of her face. She is mid-way through a seven week radiation/kimo program, and for the time being is handling things with a stiff upper lip and good attitude.
Altho she is suffering from sores in her mouth and is generally staying in bed except for going to doctor's appointments, she is ready to make her first public appearances to see her 18 year old son play in a concert in school, to his graduation in the next two weeks, and to visit his college.

Is anyone aware of some kind of temporary mask, bigger than an eye patch and hopefully more pleasing to the eye, that she might wear when she goes to these functions?
The cavity out of the right side of her face is about the size of a baseball. The mask would have to be thick enough to fill the cavity (~1") and cover most of the area of her cheek and eye socket.

Thanks for any ideas.

Donna's brother, Paul

Paul,

I'm not aware of any such mask but why can't you just put a large piece of gauze over some type of filler, like cotton and tape it to her face. They even have skin colored gauze and tape. If she's worried about her appearence, I would think a mask would stand out much more.

Hello Paul

Welcome to the Oral Cancer Foundation Website. You will find a lot of advice and support here. Try to get Donna to visit here when she is able.

You must be proud of her not to let this misfortune interfere with her normal funtions and to attend a concert that will make her so proud of her son. My hat goes off to her!

I'm sure many will respond to you. My suggestion is to have the doctors dress (bandage) the affected area, then have her wear a dark hat and a dark vail. She is an inspiration to everyone on this forum!

I know she will enjoy this concert! Good Luck! Petey

Hi, Paul, good for Donna for wanting to be part of the festivities. Have you all "cased" the department stores for the biggest pair of "fashion statement" sun glasses available? Those, along with a wide brimmed hat [I would forgo the veil] Amy in the Ozarks

Wow, I think I would try the biggest pair of black sunglasses as stated above and/or it is not uncommon when in an accident to have a huge piece of guage over the eye and cheek and tape it accordingly. They may think she was in an accident and would not know any better unless told until she is feeling better. This is such an incredible post. I wish her the very best and a speedy recovery.

Paul, just curious...does your sister want to cover her face, or is it someone else's idea?

The reason I ask is the comfort factor. When I ventured out in public for the first time after surgery, I was a mess...over 450 stitches in my face, a large wound on my forearm, a bigger one on my leg, and all at the beginning of summer, so temperatures were quite warm.

I opted to go "uncovered" as much as I was permitted to. No bandages on my face, and minimal protection on my arm and leg. It was simply too uncomfortable for me, and I sort of felt that if anyone took issue with the way I looked, it was a problem that I didn't have to share with them.

I was quite surprised all in all. No one reacted inappropriately, and I was much more comfortable physically that I would have been heavily bandaged.

I wasn't trying for shock value nor sympathy, and received neither. Empathy, yes...shock, no.

Just food for thought. I know that women are much more sensitive in that regard ( I wasn't beautiful to begin with ;^) but she may want to think about the comfort issue a bit as well.

BTW, please pass along to her my best wishes for her return to health, and congratulations on being the Mom of a bright young man. He's going to be incredibly proud to have her there!
Wayne

Paul,
What a wonderful brother you must be. I have two just like you.

I'm so impressed that she is going to her sons concert and also understand...........we mothers will do just about anything to witness our kids triumphs. I think she is smart to find a way to cover her surgical site for this event, I know I would do the same if it were an event of my childs. Our kids might tell us they don't care, but trust me, THEY DO when it comes to their functions. I have a feeling that your sister is trying to hide far more then some stitches and swelling. When I had surgery on my mouth a year ago, it was a MESS for about 2 months afterwards, very swollen, discolored, just unnatural looking. I was coaching at the time and I kept the area bandaged when I went out. There is some wonderful stuff that is skin colored and it stays put. Have her fill the cavity with some gauze. If the cavity has any drainage in it, make sure she wets the gauze with saline or something so it won't stick.
I'm so happy she gets to go, sounds like she's had one rough road.
Take care,
Minnie

Dear Paul,
What a winner your sister is, and what a wonderful brother you are. Donna needs to go to a facial prostheticist. She can begin with a prosthodontist, and I imagine that since she has had her teeth and palate removed, she has already seen one at her cancer center. If not, have them recommend one. These people do amazing things. It will probably be a while before they can make her a permanent device for her mouth, because of the radiation, but she needs to have a prosthodontic consultation anyway....now....to prevent permanent sinking of her face that might be prevented somehow. At least she needs to be seen and to have a plan for later.

Anyway.......they should be able to make her a facial prosthetic that would enable her to go out comfortably...to the grocery..and to these very special family events. She will feel better, and will get out more, and that will make her feel better also. They do amazing things!!

Eventually, they can make her one that can include an eye if she chooses ....maybe even now, though whatever they make now will be considered temporary. they can make something that goes on with adhesive, unless her skin is compromised by the radiation. I would surely ask. She is certainly not the first one to need such a thing.

To all who have so quickly responded:
I am honored that you all have taken the time to consider my question. I will take everything into consideration and share it with my sister. Will let you know how it all turns out. My first experience in a chat room is a success!
Paul