Go to the beach or wherever makes you happiest and eat all of your favorite foods. It will be a while before you can eat most of them again. If you put on a few pounds who cares, might even help you later. Try not to think about it. Relax. I vacationed for a week before each of my surguries. Save all those precious memeories and sounds to get you from panicing the morning of the surgery.

We'll we rooting for you!

For what it`s worth, I had total laryngectomy, total glossectomy, subtotal mandibulectomy. bilateral modified radical neck dissection, pectoral muscle flap, and last, but not least, fibular free flap reconstrution..........in surgery about 16 hrs........by then my bp was low, and microsurgery was posponed........the following day, I was awake and alert, spent 3 days in ICU, and was ready for discharge in 7 days. The night before surgery was the hardest on both of us, because we knew I would never speak again.............I have surgery coming up on the 30th, cause I`m still a work in progress...........My surgery was in Boston and my wife couldn`t be with me..........as a Buddhist, she hung onto her rosary all day, and burned incense........she`s already laid in 500 sticks for my next adventure......and the reconstruction stuff does take a lot longer than removing everything........My or record is mindboggling............and I think partners should also be sedated through the whole thing! We will keep you in our prayers

Kim & Dave,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Wish I could impart great words of wisdom, but for my part everything was almost a blur (in memory anyway) From the first surprise of having cancer in a minor out patient surgery; to the radical neck 2 weeks later...(I made them put it off because of a sales appointment. My doctor was not impressed.) I was only in the hospital 2 nights, and thank goodness my daughter flew in to be with us. That gave my husband a much needed break to go home and pet the animals. Cause I wasn't a lot of comfort to him.
Kim, I think you are doing the right thing by trying to be prepared for everything, but as the caregiver, you too will need a support system. I still think my husband had it harder than me. I got to sleep through the surgery, and sleep walk through radiation.
Please keep us posted and know that we'll respond anytime you need us to. If you want to give me your phone number privately on email I'll call you (ain't cell phone minutes wonderful) So much of the technical stuff I'm not good at, but if you need a shoulder. I have one really good one left.
And no I wasn't offended. Actually thought it was funny.
Take care,
Dinah

Hi Eileen, Packer, & Dinah:
Thanks for the prompt reply and the great words of advice. I love you Packer because you always have just the right amount of humor and realism to make me smile.Thanks also for the realsitic appraisal of the OR timeframe-I like your description so much better. Is the next surgery the one where you get the long awaited chin? Do you have a date yet? I am going to share all of your suggestions with Dave, and research my own options. Tough stuff riding out the highs and lows, especially the hard conversations about being scared and health care proxies.

Just received a healing care package from friends in Texas yesterday which includes a stone healing bear (Native American symbol) so now I have something to clutch for the day! Also have a friend and all of your messages to take along.

I'll probably panic in the next few days and write more so thanks in advance for listening and hope this day finds you all well. Best, Kim

I have a date........sept 30, original surgery was sept 28, last year.......just about same time........so we are going through the anxiety thing again, just because......I have a teddy bear, that has traveled back and forth with me each time for surgery, he`s even a little bloody now, if he don`t go, I don`t go.......if you don`t hang on to your sense of humor it gets rough..........I keep taking pictures of myself, and my wife keeps telling me I look like a praying mantis..........hang in there :p

Oh yeah, Packer66, take pictures. My favorite one of me, with eyes glazed by Schedule II narcotics, looks for all the world like a serial killer. After some deliberation, I opted not to use it for Christmas cards (grin).

Kim --- do take pictures of Dave so he can measure progress. This is really important with regard to the swelling following neck dissection. It feels huge and unchanging, but is actually getting smaller and only a picture can prove it. And someday, you can reach the point where I am, when the pictures are cause for laughter.

I am off tomorrow on a back country fishing trip, but will send strong positive energy your way on the 16th. Just remember that Dave is not the first one to have this surgery and the rest of us made it through, so he will too! I hope he can characterize his surgery as a walk in the park, as I was able to. It isn't always awful. I looked like a monster, but there was no pain after the first night. As soon as it is allowed, learn and practice lateral massage. Makes the swelling recede in a remarkably short time.

Joanna

Joanna, love the Christmas card idea.......being a greenbay packer fan, my first pic was in my greenbay gear........cheesehead and all.......needless to say, we very much upset my family members, they thought my wife had drssed me up and snapped a picture of me looking very bizarre..........since then we decorate me for every holiday.........antlers for Christmas, rabbit ears for easter, and I was quite a display for the 4th of july.....guess we do have a perverse sense of humor.......but, you are right about pics so you can actually see the progress, when you look on a daily basis, you don`t notice the improvment as much...............