Ian, the 18 to 25 yr olds on active duty in Iraq and Afganistan are looking at life a little differently now too.[I know because our son was there last year] Please get centered and find your inner strenght. Whatever this turns out to be, you can deal with it. And there will be people to help you. Amy

I suppose your right Amy.

I was just watching a special on Aircraft Disasters on MSNBC and it kind of makes you put things in perspective. People die everyday, and lots of young people too.

I suppose I should be thankful I didnt end up having the serious conditions I previously feared instead of cursing the world for possibly having this.

Ian, I wish that our locations were such that we could sit on a porch swing and watch the night sky and I could share with you the joy of appreciating each day we have on this earth. I would then give you a big hug and maybe some hot chocolate and send you off to get a good night's sleep. Rest easy. Amy

Ian,

I have been watching your posts on multiple "health boards". You need to let this go. I know it is very frightening when you are "convinved" you are ill and you have every symptom. You have been to several doctors who are telling you that nothing is wrong or that you do not have oral cancer. Let go & live your life. Maybe you should talk to someone concerning obsessive compulsive disorder. It is real and you need to see a doctor for it but not an oncologist or ENT.You are going to make yourself crazy with this!!!An exam by an ENT is what you needed and its what you got.My friend who really did have cancer of the tonsil was diagnosed by an ENT, they know what they are looking for.I work for a dentist and I have heard him say millions of times"some people just have big tonsils", this could be you.Please try to relax about this.Like Gary said it could be many other things, it doesn't have to be cancer.Take care! Maureen

Hi Maureen, I remember talking with you at the other board. I am trying to let it go, but when the symptoms come it just brings it all back again. The worst right now is the obvious red patch, which despite every attempt I cant stop the urge to keep looking at, and the ringing in my right ear that has become almost unbearable, it literally sounds like the sound those really cheap televisions make and it is almost constant now and only in my right ear.

Ive set it one more appointment with my ENT, hopefully ill get the area Biopsied and if that comes back negative, then theres quite simply nothing else left for me to do, Ill just have to live with it. Unfortunately the "soonest" they said they could get me in is the 29th of AUGUST!! So I guess I just get to go through my personal hell until then

The sad thing is this is destroying my life. Yes I should be thankful nothing has been found, of course. But at the same time I feel like im standing in front of a big brick wall. All I can do is stand there, wondering whats going on inside me, if anything at all. I cant move forward and accept a diagnosis, learn to come to terms with the inevitable, OR celebrate victory over it. I just stay stuck in the same place and it continues to eat at me. Either Im going to end up going insane or Im going to do something not entirely reasonable... but something has to give.

Ian,

If the biopsy comes back negative...you have to move on and if you can't, you need to get a professional to help you! You will drive yourself crazy! I am speaking from experience. I used to be this way(not the extent you are!) but bad enough that I knew I had to stop with the medical books & the computer always looking up symptoms!I was convinced I had every illness I read about. It was an anxiety thing I have since gotten help with. I had to re-program myself.You will celebrate and then move on or you WILL go insane.Ask the doctors office to call you if they have someone that cancels, so they can see you sooner.If everything is okay, FORGET about it.It IS destroying your life, thats whats sad. Try to go a hour without thinking about it and then try 2. Its hard at first but can be done.Good luck & I hope you find something out soon!God bless!MAureen

Thanks Maureen,

I appreciate your kind words. I will try to get that appointment moved up and put this behind me or do what I need to do either way. Ive had about enough at this point. Im like "Body, do what you want at this point but just make up your damn mind!"

Thanks for the support, Ill go ahead and leave you guys alone for now, this thread can be closed if necessary.

Ian.

Wow, what happened here. Seems like I brought the mood of this whole place down or something, there hasnt been a post in a week!

Ian look at the post above yours ...you said to close the thread !
Marica

Beam Me Scotty - there's no intelligent life here!