My display name, screen name and real name are all the same, so there's no confusion.

I am very new to this. All kinds of cancer runs in my family, so I've been waiting for my turn. It's finally here.

I'm not sure what to write because my mind spins faster than my fingers can type and I get to the point where I'm so overwhelmed that I don't feel like talking. Not sure if that makes sense or not, but it's how it is.

I've always had a harsh voice for a woman and never thought anything of it. I'd sing one song in church and my voice would break. Again thought nothing. For the past year I've had a sore throat with a shooting pain that goes up through my ear everyday. I pushed myself cause i'm not the doctoring type of person. I smoke like a chimney too.

Anyway. I finally went to my Dr. and told her my throat burned when I drank orange juice, so she sent me to a specialist who rammed a hose up my nose and set a date to do a biopsy. It came back cancer, so he sends me to a group of specialists this past wednesday.

They felt up my neck, went out and talked amongst themselves. Came back in and ran this long hose up my nose and down my throat. Gaged me a few times with it and told me to go eat something light and come back in a half hour while they all talk things over.

I went had soup and coffee...came back and met 3 more drs. They rammed that hose up my nose again while 6 doctors watched and commented and left the room. I almost decked the one with the hose

One dr came back and said he wants to do a PET Scan. He wants me to do in house treatment there for 6 weeks because of how extensive the treatment will be and possible side effects.

He told me I won't be capable of taking care of dad, so told me to forget it. My life will change.

All I know is i'm tired..I did ask about non-treatment and he said if I did nothing, it would grow and I would choke to death

treatment...would be 6 weeks, everyday with radiation, but he's not sure until he gets results of PET Scan how much Chemo.

This is what the diagnoses is...

Squamous cell carcinoma of the supraglottis with cervical neck metastasis, stage IV disease, with a T3, N2, MX

I have no clue what it means or how bad it is. I feel lost and am driving myself crazy looking everything up that I don't understand.

Now if you remember, I said I didn't feel like talking? This was written over time and I copied and pasted LOL...not bad huh?

Looking forward to getting to know ya all.

Ann Marie 2007 (I noticed another lady with the same name, so I added 2007)

Hello Anne Marie. I just want to welcome you the the forum. I had the same question about my diagnosis when I came here. I didn't understand the letters and numbers. One of the members gabe me a link to go to that explained it very well. I am very sorry that I can't find or remember that link but I know that someone who does will reply to you soon. There is a wealth of info here and pretty much all of it is from first hand experience. I am 1.5 weeks post treatment. You can do this. You said your family has a history so I assume you may have an understanding of what you are getting ready to face. We will be with you on this journey. You will be in my prayers and thoughts. I figure the only time it will suck to be me is the day I lose the ability to fight this old disease. Till then, the family and friends I have makes it impossible for me to say it sucks to be me. I do agree that it sucks to have cancer, but having it showed me just how great it actually is to be me. :-)

I'm not looking forward to this. In fact, I was seriously thinking about not doing anything and letting it run it's course.

I don't know if I'll make it through the chemo. I'm trying to think positive, but not sure if that will hold up.

Thanks for the welcome

Dear Ann Marie - I'm so glad you found this site. There are so many wonderful compassionate and knowledgeable people here and I know you will get lots of support. Sounds like you have been through so much! With the several doctors that you've seen, who consult with each other I'm guessing you must be with a Comprehensive Cancer Center which is a good place to be. I'm a caregiver to my son who had Squamous cell cancer of the tongue but I'm sure there are others here who can help with some experience closer to your own. It is definitely a crazy maker when you first get hit with the awful news and when you are still waiting for results or deciding exactly what is going to happen. I love your comment about decking the rubber hose doctor! Sounds like you are a tough lady and you've already started to fight this cancer beast just by looking up stuff and coming to this site. Hang in there and keep in touch. Everyone here is ready to support you through this.

Annette
(will keep signing off this way so we tell us apart)

Hello Ann Marie.
When I started writing, no one had responded to you. When I went to send it, I think Ann-Marie
and Lee33 were sending theirs and mine got lost.
But they covered all bases except one.
Your colorful comment in your signature is incorrect, it should be ...Sucks To Be Here...
Good Luck, PeteyB

Thx for the welcome

I'm gonna post to this tomorrow. I'm tired and i'm usually in bed by 9PM.

Pete? Naw...it doesn't suck to be here...it sucks to be me

BTW...This is all an April fools joke, right?

Ann Marie - The link that Lee mentioned could be this one:
http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/facts/stages_cancer.htm

Annette

Hi Anne Marie,

If you are like me, the early going was the most fearful and the most difficult. My imagination went wild with all the worst thoughts and feelings of pity for myself and my family.

As I learned more about the disease, and you need to keep asking your doctors everything you can think of (now and throughout treatment), the fear began to subside. In my case, my wife was my caregiver and attended each and every doctors visit - she helped a lot in the question department.

Once I got into the routine of the treatment, my emotions came under much more control and I found a lot more strength than I ever gave my self credit for (with a lot of help from my wife - I didn't discovered this forum until after treatment).

I do not have the same form of SCC that you do, but you are not alone - many here have experience with common elements that will be in your treatment plan, and you will find support and knowledge to help you through.

Best wishes,

Chris

Anne Marie,

Get use to that hose up the nose thing, we all get it and many many times but you will get use to it. I even look forward to it compared to other things they have done to me!!!.

You CAN"T let it run it's course because that means almost sure death and we've been told not a pleasant one either. There are no mircles around the corner and we all have endured the Tx and are here to tell you it's ruff stuff but 7 months out and I am thankful that medical science has at least progressed this far in the Tx of this deadly desease.

So join us and become a winning percentage. Each of us helps the next person and eventually we all will enable science to beat this and all cancers.

I am just so scared to go through this. I've never been this afraid before. I am the main caregiver of my 82 yr.old father and a daughter who's 14.

I show an appearance of being up beat to everyone, but am scared to death. I've briefly talked to my dad and daughter about this, but they and my sister and brother have no idea how this is effecting me emotionally.

My daughter is not my biological daughter. I'm in the process of adopting her. had her sense she was 9. I've told her to ask any questions she'd like and if she doesn't feel free to talk to me, she needs to talk to someone or go to the school counsellor. She loves going to church and such a good kid.