#2026 02-25-2004 08:46 AM | Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 4,916 Likes: 63 OCF Founder Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OCF Founder Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 4,916 Likes: 63 | I am too angry, sad, crushed even to write anything meaningful now, but I will as soon as I get my composure and balance back together. But this forum has a new name if you look at the top of the page. It is the first time that OCF has recognized any individual. In a day or two it will be followed by a link to a short story that will be part of all your comments about packer and how he affected us all. More on Packers influence on me later I just can't do it now.
Brian, stage 4 oral cancer survivor. OCF Founder and Director. The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. | | |
#2027 02-25-2004 08:11 PM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 189 Gold Member (100+ posts) | Gold Member (100+ posts) Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 189 | I've erased and rewrote this message a dozen times....
Dee and Packer have pulled me through this hell. Without them, I would have given up a long time ago.
God bless you Dee (my BA), and godspeed Packer. I love you both more than you'll ever know.
Mandi (BB)
Husband diagnosed with stage III tonsil and floor of mouth cancer in August 2002. Three rounds of chemo/42 RAD treatments. Upper right lung lobectomy in March 2003. (Benign)
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#2028 02-26-2004 12:49 AM | Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 49 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 49 | Sorry to hear of his passing, my prayers are with you.
5-02 SCC T1N1M0 Stage 3 Right Tonsil 6-02 Right Radical Neck Disection 9-03 Recurrent SCC Dx Stage 4 unknown prim 12-03 7 Chemo 12-03 36 Rad 5-04 Left Upper Lung Wedge Resection neg 7-04 Right Parotidectomy 9-04 Began IMRT 10-04 Ended IMRT
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#2029 02-26-2004 01:13 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 | My dad loved the ability to communicate with all of you on the message board. I know that he gained a lot of emotional support from many of you there, and as I read through his postings, it is clear to me that even in some of his darkest and most painful times, he still found the inner strength to offer unconditional words of support to others who came with questions or concerns. It seems appropriate that I, and our family, honor what I believe was his true nature, and that was a desire to help others. While we appreciate the kind words and sympathies that you offer, which do indeed help us in our time of sadness and loss, it is my father that should be remembered. We think that the best thing that could be done is for you to send donations in support of OCF and the board in which he found and gave comfort, that it may have the resources to continue on. I think he would want that, more than flowers that are gone in a day or two, something that would be his last gift to the people he loved to talk to and that would continue to support those people whom he came to think of as an extended family. I am going to ask Brian to start a fund on the board in his name, and at his funeral we are going to ask for donations to OCF in lieu of flowers. He loved life, and he loved you all. I wish to thank you for all the support you showed him while he was with you, and which you are showing me now in my time of loss. | | |
#2030 02-26-2004 01:37 AM | Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 246 Platinum Member (200+ posts) | Platinum Member (200+ posts) Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 246 | Packer's Little Girl:
Continued wishes for strength as you prepare for Frank's service. Could you please let us know if it okay to send condolences to Dee at their home address?
Also, could you tell us how Dee is holding up Please convey to her how much we are all thinking of her and that she isn't alone in her mourning of Frank.
Kudos to Brian for naming this forum after Frank. I feel comfort seeing his name there and feeling that he is present. He would probably have never expected to see his name in virtual lights but that is once again a testament to how he moved many of us doing what he did best-being Frank.
I think it would be fitting to send donations to OCF in memory of Frank then send a collective acknowledgement to Dee. Do you want to desigate a specific area to collect donations or should we send them but use Frank's name?
Thanks,
Kim
kcdc Wife of Dave,diagnosed with Stage III Tonsillar SCC,August '02 Modified radical neck dissection followed by radiation therapy 'There is glory and radiance in the darkness and to see we have only to look"
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#2031 02-26-2004 02:13 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 | Kcdc what do you mean by this? I think it would be fitting to send donations to OCF in memory of Frank then send a collective acknowledgement to Dee. Do you want to desigate a specific area to collect donations or should we send them but use Frank's name. You will have to excuse me but I am just really not thinking straight right now. I have only talked to Dee once since my dad died, I am in PA and she is in Maine, so we do not live near each other. When I talked to her she was crying but she was calm, I am guessing she is doing as well as can be expected, I know she said she cannot visit this forum right now it is just to hard for her. I know she will be moving out of Maine asap, she is going to Alabama to be with two of her kids. Right now that is all I know. Thank you all again very much for all your support. Packer66 Littlegirl | | |
#2032 02-26-2004 04:47 AM | Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 188 Gold Member (100+ posts) | Gold Member (100+ posts) Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 188 | Packer 66 contributed much to this board and he will be missed. I am saddened to hear of his death. Dee, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
Sincerely, Donna
SCC first time 1989, with a diagnoses of 'cancer in situ' removed lesion, no other treatments. SCC recurrence 1997 of tongue and floor of the mouth. Stage III /IV Hemmiglossectomy (removed over 60% of tongue/ floor of the mouth), free flap, modified neck, RAD and Chemo(cisplatin, 5fu) simutainously. Cancer free 6, yes, six, years!
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#2033 02-26-2004 06:21 AM | Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 273 Platinum Member (200+ posts) | Platinum Member (200+ posts) Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 273 | Thank you every one for your love and prayers. It took me til today to read the posts and I`m doing with tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew his battle was near ending and I think he did too.....I still can`t believe it, he told me just last week he didn`t know what he would have ever done without me, and I told him, I felt like he was a planet and I was the moon that circled it. The past few months I knew the end was coming, like the end of a chapter in the book of life, but my story has to go on. I feel him with me. My kids are with me til next week. We had decided long ago that Frank just wanted cremated with no services, but his ashes will go whereever I go.I know the people who knew him loved him and Kim put so many things into words.......He could drool with dignity. With all the pain I`m in, I would never trade places with anyone, he was a gift, and I know he`s gonna be one Hell Of an Angel............Love, Dee | | |
#2034 02-26-2004 06:47 AM | Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 273 Platinum Member (200+ posts) | Platinum Member (200+ posts) Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 273 | HI everyone, this is Nick Dee's son and franks step son. Me and my sister have traveled from Pa and maine to be here. I have known frank for a long time now..most of my life. It is not until darkness comes that realize how bright a person can be. I had the pleasure of seeing frank at his lowest. Something that none of his immediate family our extended had that pleasure of. He was an amazing fighter, to keep a sense of humor at such times is more then admirable. As all can imagine my Mother is dealing with things as anyone of you would. She has her children with her now for a week to get the house in order and life. Though it will take longer then that. You all say wonderful things that she greatly appreciates and will help through these times.. I will leave it up to her to post her address. We all know now that frank has to fight no longer and is talking like crazy where ever he is..thanks again for all of your condolences...
Franks second son, Nick | | |
#2035 02-26-2004 07:49 AM | Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 4,916 Likes: 63 OCF Founder Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OCF Founder Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 4,916 Likes: 63 | Chrissy and I have now communicated, and I understand her wishes. As we did during the loss of Heather, OCF will start a fund in Packers name. I will start a new thread listing the contributors to the fund, and after everyone has had a chance to send in their checks or use the online store to make a donation, I will send all the names and addresses to both Dee and Chrissy, who will undoubtedly send out thank you's to everyone for their support of Packer, of OCF through the donations, and of course of the family and loved ones of Packer, especially Dee. The donations have already started arriving on the web site, and I will start the thread listing the donors today. If you send a check, please write Packer on the check somewhere. If you choose to use the donation section of the online OCF store there is a block for comments or special instructions in which you can type the word Packer. If there is any doubt that you did it correctly online, we wish to be sure that the money goes to the right place, just email me and I will see that it is taken care of. If you send a check, please send it to The OCF at 3419 Via Lido #205, Newport Beach, CA 92663 and write Packer on the outside of the envelope and on the check itself. Your donations are tax deductible, as we are an IRS registered 501c3 charity, and anyone who desires a receipt for their donation with the foundation
Brian, stage 4 oral cancer survivor. OCF Founder and Director. The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. | | |
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