Hi Christine sorry didn't see reply he said he has to lie at a certain angle cos he starts coughing x I think he needs to be more upright x there I nurse that comes and changed his dressing on trach hole which as not yet healed which is a worry x he said he can't breathe through mouth everything still swollen inside x

Hi, Delly
Just wanted to wish you the best with caring for your dad. Please remember to take advantage of any help that is offered or available. You are a fabulous daughter - but you are human and it won't help if you wear yourself completely out helping your dad. I ended up with a really bab RA flare after my husband's treatment - don't be like me :-)
Maria

Thankyou Maria I just want my dad to be ok x I no he's going to get depressed and I'm ready I just want to try help him back out of it x it's hard with my dad because he never had no hobbies or social life he just went to work came home drank brews ha and went back next day he really misses work and he wants to go back he's given himself a year ! I really really pray he gets enough speech to go back to taxi driving and I really hope he can drink a brew again :(( only time will tell xx it is very hard you think every second of the day about it and how you can make the healing time easier but it's so hard I asked if he wanted to go for a drive today but he doesn't so I can't force him just hope he keeps feeding himself and trying to help himself xx there doesn't seem to be much help yet I:/ in going to contact people Monday and see what I can do xxx

That's tough, Delly - taxi driving is a very social profession, and I bet he does miss the interaction. How is he communicating now?
Maria

He writes everything down and hums a few noises x I don't no how well he may eventually speak I'm hoping he has enough speech to go back to work as that's what he wants to do more than anything xx it's a creul creul life feel so bad for him but there nothing I can do except go visit every day and get him anything he needs xx

Hopefully he is doing better daily. IT takes time but small improvements move you towards where you want to be.

hugs

Delly, as parent I can tell you that seeing a loving child everyday means the world. I know you would like to be able to do more - but please know that seeing you does mean a lot to him. Thinking of you both on my side of the pond.
Maria

Hi Delly,
I can totally relate to everything you are saying because I too was a scared daughter - i worried about whether my father could talk again, eat again, and be himself again. It is totally okay to be scared! It WILL get better - for you and him. Overtime, you will learn to accept it! This site is a great site - i read everything everyone said to my dad every single day - i kept reminding him that there are so many people going through this and they are okay, they are doing great and they are still fighting! Remember to be positive and keep cheering him on ( even if you dont feel so positive )
My father had an excellent speech therapist that helped him chew mild stuff like mashed bananas, half boiled eggs, and milkshakes post op. Within a few months, he was eating porridge, steamed fish, and thick avocado juices. I would recommend u to get a speech therapist ASAP.
I'm praying for you and a speedy recovery for your dad.

Hi everyone x dad is feeling a bit better his weight dropping a bit because he wasn't feeding enough they have now changed it to a higher calorie intake hopefully he will gain some weight before his radiation x my dad has had a massive improvement In the last few days he has actually swallowed a teaspoon of water quite a few times it doesn't sound much but it is a massive achievement as we wasn't sure if he could swallow again xx his face is healing nicely just needs to start opening his mouth a bit has no speech as he keeps his mouth closed because he says it's all to big thinks his tongue is to big I'm not sure if it is or if it's due to the swelling xx it's only 3 week post op and in my eyes he's doing amazing I've got him broadband netflicks and an iPad x just want him to try not to get to fed up staying in xx radiation starts 14 April and I no we going to have a few months of bring down and not feeling like it's going to end x my dads had radiation before on the same side so they have to try and not hit the same bits else it will cause a lot of damage so he's had a mask made to try protect these areas x he's doing amazing and I'm so proud xx Maria I fully understand this feeling I have 3 lovely children all girls and very understanding she 13,10amd 4 😀 and thankyou for your kind words xx kjb im do sorry to hear your dad passed away and after everything he went through how sad x dads not heard off the speech therapy yet I think everything waiting till after radiation when everything's calmed down x bet your dad was so very proud to have you as a daughter xx

Netflix and an iPad. Both are very medicinal. They've helped me get through the slow times.

Glad your father is recovering well from surgery. I well understand how a sip of water is significant. It's something we take for granted until we lose it.

You are giving your father great support which will make the next few months much more bearable.

Best wishes!