Oh Lori - I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, but it happens to so many of us - even caregivers! You've already been through so much and looking at your sinature info, you did have a clear PET back in March which sounds like a good thing to me. If you are depressed, that's something that is temporary and there is help for that. When my son was going through treatment, he had meds for depression and was also in therapy for help with depression. If you are still on meds, sometimes the meds can make you have sad thoughts, too. It would be good if you could check with your doctors and tell them what's happening with you. Look on your prescription bottles to see what side effects there are. You know my son used to post on here but only did for a very short time because he said it made him so sad so what I did was copy stuff from this form that I thought would help him and I only gave him the positive news. Maybe you could just read comments that help you feel positive. Helping someone else with the benefits of your experiences can help you feel better, too. But please do check with your doctor. He/she may want to change your meds or give you something to help you feel better. Let us know what's happening with you, ok?

Maybe it would be easier for you to read the main OCF pages . Its more educational and not so personal like the forum is.

Its okay to be afraid, we all get scared. Oral cancer is not like a hangnail, its a serious possibly deadly medical condition that leaves far too many patients with life long disabilities and impairments including disfigurement. Who wouldnt be concerned after being diagnosed. We do understand and will do our very best to help you with everything. Its ok to lean on us. We get you!

Welcome! Glad you are doing well now. Sound likes you went through a lot!

Lori, I'm having trouble understanding something here. You fought your way through your diagnosis and treatment by yourself without this forum in your corner. That shows incredible strength, fortitude, courage and so many other positive traits.

So, with all that behind you and seeing positive results now, I would think you would be the champion of the positive attitude, keep your head up, you can get through this mindset.

It puzzles me that you seem to be leaning in the opposite direction.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm just a guy, and us guys can be awfully thick about some things, but is there anything else going on with you other than you are just being empathetic about what other forum members are going through.

I thought about this when I responded earlier, but couldn't find the right words. Now, reading your later post I have to ask.

Lori there is a grateful attitude that does cause one to pour out emotion when reading what others have endured. For example it was easier for me to weep over a child going through chemotherapy than my own experience with same. I still weep when reading some signatures or reading a current experience. I can do that because I know what I went through and am grateful for survival. Keep reading with tears flowing (a positive) but seek to give back as well. Ten were healed but only 1 returned to thank.

Nothing is wrong with crying, especially going through what you did, and thinking about it after the fact or whatever other reasons.

Hi Lori, the tears come at weird times. I didn't cry when I was diagnosed, or any time leading up to or after my surgery. The first time I cried was when I got home, I was in the shower, and realized I couldn't wash my own hair because I couldn't lift my arms up high enough.

The second time was after the RO gave me choice of whether to have rads or not. I cried when I was telling him I decided not to.

I've cried more writing and reading these posts than any other time, but I have also found it cathartic.

Everyone has different triggers, and sometimes you just need to cry to release the pent up stress.

Lori, I agree with Tina. I didn't cry until I was home healing. When I was alone. It was a thankful cry to God for me being spared the rads and chemo after the ordeal of surgery. I still cry when read posts about recurrences and about those facing the more treatment. I'm empathetic by nature too. You go ahead and cry. If there is anything we can help you with.....let us know. You now have a family here who knows what you have been through and what it feels like.

Alicia

Lori,

We all react differently to our experience with this crappy cancer and some definitely need and get professional assistance along the way. Please consider this for as far as I can see you should be happy as hell.

Lori, check the menu up top of this page and click on "my stuff". There should be a flashing icon indicating that you have a private message from me.

Bart