Hi I'm new to posting though I have been reading all of these amazing experiences. I am truly in awe of the strength and hope that I read. In 2 days I am having a left lower mandiblectomy and I am so scared. My feelings don't even make sense to me. There are moments when I feel that I've got this, no problem and then the next emotion is cancel everything. So conflicted

Hi Sandy:
Welcome to a new family of kindred spirits who actually understand what you're going through as we are all doing the same. Some are farther along in the journey, but we all know that nagging feeling in the back of the head.

If you've read much on the website you've already seen what to do about it; go find something to do that will occupy your mind in a positive way. For me, there are a lot of things that work. I build and fly model airplanes. I have several under construction. Working on a plane always takes the mind to a new place.

I also love to play bridge, nothing focuses the mind like trying to remember if my club nine will win the next trick because the ten through the ace have already been played.

Yesterday, the walls started closing in a little, so I got away from the walls by just going for a walk. It was beautiful outside, about 70 degrees, sunny, light wind. Just to smell the fresh air and listen to children playing in a neighbor's yard will cheer you up. There's a red labrador that lives halfway through my walk. He always gets a scratch and a rub, and half the time he joins me for the rest of the walk.

And though this doesn't work for everybody, I find getting on this website and reading about other people's cancer and trying to offer them some words of hope to be therapeutic. I always feel better after doing that.

Still, at least once every day that little feeling will be back there letting me know, I'm still here. That's okay; all I have to worry about today ... is today.

So, get started making your list of escapes. Write it down on paper and attach it to your front door. When the worrying starts, walk to the front door, pick one ... and do it, right then.

Stick with this group Sandy, we will all get through this together.

Tony

Don't worry about brave or the unknown. Take the high road and 're a lose you are going to go through this but others have too. I'm not braver than you are or less afraid I just focus on getting through the next day, hour or minute. Tony gave you some great advice and others will help you through this.

Today I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. 24 hours until surgery. So many emotions going through me. I want to thank everyone for all the support and encouragement. Thank you for just having a forum for me or anyone to unload their thoughts and feelings.

Oh sandy, I've been there as I'm sure many others here have been too. Knowing what was ahead of me had me in that rabbit hole for two months. Nothing my family or friends said helped me. (Tho they so sweetly tried) Coming to the OCF was a great comfort to me, knowing others had walked the trail before me and would walk along my journey with me was very comforting. We are here.

Hi Sandy,
I think for you to just be able to read what others have been through could be a positive thing. Many have been through the same and they are still here to encourage others.
It is absolutely ok to feel the way you feel. We used to try to take it day by day and then sometimes hour by hour in the harder times. But you will come to a point where you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Until then...relax in the hands of your surgeon and let the meds get you through; and please update us when you can. Or maybe even have someone else keep in touch for a bit.
Prayers for tomorrow,
Kathy

Sandy,

I am sorry you are feeling such anxiety about your upcoming surgery. It is totally understandable. I had surgery 6 weeks ago and went through the same thing. Mine was out of town so my family made it a special occasion for me. A the whole family (we have 2 teenagers) stayed in a hotel near the hospital and went out to eat at a nice restaurant the night before. We turned it into a celebration that the cancer would soon be out of me. It was still in the back of my mind.....but my family and getting well for them became the thought in the FRONT of my mind.

You are about to fight the enemy. You're going to win by getting it out of your body! Focus on that and the people in your life that are important to you and to whom YOU are important. That way you get this thing into a new perspective. Carry this perspective with you through recovery too.

I'm wishing you a successful procedure And speedy recovery.

Alicia.

Sandy, glad to see you took the leap and have posted. Now I can officially welcome you to OCF. Im so glad you have found this site to help you with info and support.

Your surgery is a big one. A mandibulectomy is very intricate and long procedure. You may be kept asleep for a couple days. It will probably be at least a weeks stay in the hospital, maybe longer.

Please try to have someone stay with you as much as possible to be your voice. If you will have a trach, ask for a possey muir valve so you can easily talk with a trach. It really is important and will make a huge difference. I suggest asking not only your surgeon but every single person you come in contact with to ensure its taken care of.

Please dont be afraid of asking questions, we are all friends here. We will help you as much as possible. Best wishes with the surgery. Please post as soon as you can or have someone post an update and let us know how you make out.

Good luck!!!!

I would like to thank everyone for the supportive words, positive thoughts and well wishes. Trying to stay positive and hoping for the best. Spent a great day with my children and was able to utilize the many helpful tips for staying in the now. Thank you again all of you for reaching out to me. Will post when I can.

Hi there Sandy. From what I have read tou have a difficult path ahead, but keep your eye on the prize - a full return to good health. Before I had my surgery, I read a Winston Churchill quote " You will never get where you want to go if you stop to throw rocks at every dog that barks".

What that meant to me is that as you proceed you will find barking dogs - anything from bad parking to a doctor that wasn't well schooled on bedside manner. Keep focused. Don't let those distractions get in the way of where You are going - a full return to good health.

Looking forward to your continued posting. You can and will get through this!

Donna