Hello everyone, so I have a bunch of updates after a roller coaster week.

I have met my radiation oncologist, and he seemed very optimistic. He admitted he is not certain what to make of the single node in level IV, but said it could have been level III. Also, one of the margins for the primary tumor was pretty close (2mm) though clear. So RAD for sure, though the choice was mine. He was very certain that no chemo was needed and that no medical oncologist would want to touch me at this point.( Apparently the whole board of doctors at JH agrees). I want to believe that but am obviously worried. He estimated, if I undergo RAD, over 90% chance of cure!!!

Also, he claimed to be able to shape the radiation in such a way that the side effects would be moderate, so I wouldn't need PEG and should be able to swallow on my own. He also said that the salivary glands on the right side of my mouth will be spared.

Neither he nor anyone else I have talked to has been able to recommend a specialized dentist. It seems that there is nobody of the kind in the greater DC area. So I have convinced my current dentist to make me fluoride trays and am kind of educating him on my own - don't know what else to do.

On the bad side, I have a couple of more (hopefully unrelated) health worries. On the annual exam my doctor detected a "full" and somewhat painful ovary, so I am having an ultrasound next week. Really freaking out about it. I am also awaiting the results of the Pap/HPV test. Finally, I need to have my thyroid rechecked - last year a benign nodule was discovered but it lit up on the PET a few weeks ago so really hoping it is still benign. One cancer is enough, I am worried sick about all these other tests.

Got all my wisdom teeth extracted, and that went better than expected. Trying to stay positive. Thank you all for your support!

Ambra, please do yourself a big favor and try to stay very busy. This will help to keep your mind off your medical condition. By staying active it will help you so you wont worry so much. Its a learned skill which took me a while to master but its definitely worth trying to learn it. Try to read a book with a intriguing plot or watch a movie that is suspenseful to keep your focus on other things besides your health. By worrying it will only make you feel bad, it will never change a test result or do anything positive for you. I know its really difficult to not be concerned and think positive but I have faith that you can do it. Remember we are in your corner and here to help you in any way we can.

Good luck with everything!!!

Hello Ambra:

I almost feel silly coming on to your thread after reading so much that you have gone through already. I was just diagnosed with SCC and HPV and have had the surgery, but no rad or chemo yet.

Like you, I have no family in my hometown, so I know how you feel. I do however have many friends in this town, people who have shown their concern and offered to help. I will take them up on their offer when needed.

I wish I had specific information that could help you, but I'm a newbie in that respect. Just realize we are reading what you write, thinking about you and wishing you comfort on your journey.

I watch DVD movies as an escape from the reality of the world. There are lots of places to get them, some local, some over the internet. Some have really good series, season one through season last ... with no commercials.

Stay strong Ambra.

Hey Ambra , n74g hit the nail on the head. I too love to watch entire series first to last. I didn't watch the series Mad Men when it first came out. But was so much fun to watch it all the way up to the current season. Did the same with HBO,s drama "Big Love" Warning: Do not get too enthralled in watching that you almost miss appointment like I did. LOL. Oh and fight fight fight

Shawn U.

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone! Feeling much better reading them.

ChristineB, you are so right. I have promptly re-signed up for cable (snagged free HBO for an year) and already managed to get through the whole first season of "Homeland". I wish the whole government shut-down mess would end real soon so that I could go back to work and keep myself busy with lab work. Not to mention that having a paycheck would be nice too. And I also found a counselor, had a first visit today.

N74tg, you are very kind. Please do not feel silly at all. Seems that in addition to SCC we have a lot more in common, such as having no family/having many friends and love for dancing (I wrote on your thread that I have been doing competitive ballroom dancing for many years).

Shawn, seems like you are a kindred spirit. I have managed to finish the whole first season of "Homeland" over the weekend and started the second today. "Downtown Abbey" is next on the list.

Got the results of the ovary ultrasound super promptly. Apparently it is a "small mildly complex cyst". My doctor said more often than not these are usually benign and go away on their own, but of course they could be malignant too. The usual followup is another ultrasound on 6-8 weeks to see if it is still there. If yes, then more tests will follow.

I also saw my surgeon for the post-op follow up. Good news: I am apparently healing really well. Bad news: I complained about the neck numbness not improving much and he said it might never go away. I sure wasn't aware of that possibility. Strange news: he thinks there might have been a mix up with the lymph node labeling and the one positive for SCC might have been from level II and not IV, as PET indicated activity in level II. And finally, confusing advice: he thinks I should wait with a new thyroid biopsy till after the RAD. His logic is that even if it is cancer, there is nothing to be done about it (that is surgery) till after I have recovered from Rad, and thyroid cancer is among easier ones to treat. He believes it would be better for now just not knowing and focusing on getting through Rad. Not quite sure what to make of this yet.

Wow, something else in common. I'm most of the way through first season of Homeland myself. The lead character, Damian Lewis also did another series called Life, it's as good as Homeland. And Mandy Patinkin (Saul) was great in Dead Like Me. And Morena Baccarin (Jessica, wife) was great in V.

I created a movies/series list in the Friends Forum, check it out.

I hope they don't fuss about all this non-cancer related stuff.

That is yet another coincidence, n74tg. Life is strange, isn't it?

I have seen a nice new endocrinologist today about the thyroid nodule. She agreed with my surgeon that we should wait till after RAD to do another FNA, and it was scheduled for early February next year. The nodule does look suspicious, its PET uptake was quite high and apparently, for the original FNA last year the specimen was scant which means that malignant cells might have been missed. If it is cancer, then I will need a new surgery to remove the whole thyroid gland. Since the surgery can not be done till I am recovered sufficiently from RAD, they think it is much better for me not to know now. Obviously, I am very stressed out. Imagine having two unrelated cancers in the same body part (neck) at the same time! The odds of such thing!

I have also just somehow managed to hurt my neck dissection surgery scar when taking a sweater off so that it is bleeding a little bit and glue flakes were falling of containing fresh blood. Called the JH hospital, and have been waiting for over an hour to be called back and told what to do, whether I need to go to ER or not. Pretty freaked out and mad at myself at the same time.

Hi Ambra,

JH eh? I know it well. I had a great team there and can't speak highly enough of them and the treatment I received. You're in good hands I'm sure!

Positive thoughts and prayers

"T"

Went dancing last night with our swing dance club. Wish you could've been there.

Great music, easy to dance too and a great group of people who love to dance.

Have a great weekend Ambra. I hope you find friends to go out and dance with.

Thanks "T". It does seem to me that I am in good hands. Hopefully it turns out correct,

Tony, that sounds lovely, hope you had a blast!. Last time I went dancing was the weekend before my surgery. But I am going tomorrow to a big local charity ball called "Dance for the Cure". It is organized by my dance coaches and all the money goes to American Cancer Association. Lots of good shows by dance professionals and some social dancing too. Last year I helped organize it, funny how quickly life turns around.

This is a birthday present from my old dance partner as I am turning 36 today. My first birthday with cancer. Going to a nice french restaurant tonight with some friends and will attempt to eat my first steak since the surgery.

Hope everyone is having a nice long weekend!