Josh,
I am glad that you have Timber to help you through the radiation. Remember that you have to take good care of yourself so you can take care of him. I am convinced that our dog (now beyond the Rainbow Bridge and waiting) helped my husband do as well as he did.

Best wishes and keep in touch!
Maria

Hi Josh,

Truly, you are very gifted in the written word. Sorry you found us here but glad you did as this is a wonderful site for information and support.

I was touched by your photos. Animals have a 6th sense when it comes to our physical well being. I have a Pixie Bob. They are known to be dogs in cat's clothes. We had a house/cat sitter stay at our place while I was undergoing treatment in Baltimore. We came home over the weekends but "Socrates" knew something was up.

Since I came home, he has spent most of his time with me. I'm never far from his line of site. He knew something wasn't right with Daddy even before I was Dx'd. Truly, he has been a huge assett in the healing process. He gets me up out of my recliner to play "mousie" with him (a modified game of fetch where I do most of the fetching ~lol~). Follows me wherever I go in the house to keep an eye on me.

It's amazing how therapeutic our animal friends are.

Best wishes to you. Positive thoughts and prayers.

"T"

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm humbled by the way you see me based on the words I've spoken. I will most certainly keep you all updated every step of the way. I am very happy to have stumbled upon this site and see there are so many wonderful people out there to provide support. We all need to stick together, it makes getting through this so much easier.

David, as soon as I was cleared to eat I started doing food instead of the peg tube. I also talk as much as I can to try and become more clear and build up my muscles. I only use the tube to take my meds as my discharge papers specifically said to crush the pills and mix with water and take it through the PEG. One of the first things my oral surgeons and radiologist recommended were the fluoride trays, I have an appointment with my dentist this upcoming week to be fitted for them. Unfortunately since this has all happened so fast and I will be starting my radiation within the next two weeks, I won't have a long period of time with the fluoride trays before hand, but I'm assuming I will be able to use them during radiation as long as the mucositis isn't too bad, though from research I've done mucositis seems to be just about guaranteed. My swallowing has improved dramatically already and I'll work on it as much as I can. I have a speech therapist who comes to the house and gives me swallowing exercises to work on as well.

Sounds like a plan!

Welcome. Not all medications should be crushed, and put through the tube, especially time released meds, and pain pills. Check with your pharmacist or get liquid meds. Good luck.

Paul, my doctors made sure all the meds I have given, pain and medicinal alike, retained the proper chemical compounds when crushed so they do not lose their strength and effectiveness. Also, the pharmacist I use is a close family friend who I've known my entire life, he always steers me in the right direction with any prescriptions I've ever been given.

Josh,

I was taken aback at how similar our stories are. I was a busy lawyer, and pushed my issue away for a few months as well. I also "knew" before I was told, having done all the research and watched the neck dissection video on youtube.

I am now just shy of 9 months post-surgery. I sounded like the godfather last fall, then Elmer Fudd with a lisp, then like a deaf person. With the help of speech therapy, and a lot of work, people who didn't know me before don't know, and those who did say I am about 95% back to "normal".

I have never doubted I would get through this, although there are days of self-pity from time to time. My one real breakdown was at home in the shower when I realized I couldn't lift my arms high enough to wash my hair. I cried and then figured out a way to get it done. That's been my motto...find a way to get it done, even if it's different than before.

It sounds like you have a great attitude, keep at it. This place is where you can vent. I needed it as I didn't want to burden my family. Now I check in for the reminder of how lucky I have been.

I'll be thinking of you, and wishing you the best through your treatment.

Tina, I completely understand what you mean about the shower. My left arm is still very limited in motion while I'm healing, so I've had to adjust a lot of things I do. Sometimes I forget my arm isn't even close to the strength it was and I go to pick something up, which just results in me almost dropping it. Everything, for now, is just all about adjustments, but I too always tell myself to find a way. I hate being a nuisance to anyone and I hate being so dependent on anyone, so I figure out ways to do everything I can without help. The only problem I run into now is becoming tired so easily, but that's expected. My speech therapist stopped by today and said since I'm having no problem swallowing that there really is no more need for me to see her anymore. To just keep swallowing what I can to build up the muscles, and in terms of talking just move my tongue around as much as possible to build up the muscles. Of course the obvious of talking as much as possible, as well. I always laugh when people reassure me that I'll get through this multiple times in a span of two minutes because I've been saying that from day one, I realize it's kind of their way of reassuring themselves of it. I am here for you, and anyone in that matter, if you ever need to talk or vent or anything of the sort.

Rosemary, I actually had no flap put in, only sutures. My tongue has been healing beautifully without any problems, and my doctors also told me it will regenerate over a span of 5 years. Obviously not completely, but every little bit helps.

Josh, I also found that singing helped with my speech therapy...I'm sure my neighbors were not entirely thrilled, but the speed of words in a song helped with the slower pace of day to day talking. I became a white girl rapper in my shower as well, LOL.

I assume you are doing physio as well for the shoulder? If not get on it. I couldn't lift my arms past shoulder height for the longest time (about 4-5 months), then in the span of a few days, everything clicked. I've been doing slow weight training since then, and I was able to play baseball this year with my physio's approval. It has been great to get back to "normal". I was inordinately pleased last week when I threw out a runner from 1st to 3rd and I heard someone on their bench say "she's got a gun, don't test her".

Great that you didn't need a flap - it's a very odd feeling (mine came from my wrist). I used to bite mine all the time, now I know what it feels like between my teeth, so it's rare, but still creepy.

Keep on keepin' on!

Yeah I need to talk to my home nurses about assigning me someone for PT. I was hoping I would be further along by now and they said if I need one to just ask and they will set me up. I actually play guitar, piano, and I sing, so I've been doing a bit of that. My voice is still fine, just of course pronunciation is a little off. But I was pleasantly surprised I was still so capable. I actually felt more comfortable singing than speaking, it seems to sound a little more fluent.

I've also actually played baseball my entire life. I had every intention of trying out for the college team when I went in the fall, but since I'm deferring my acceptance to the Spring, I will have to put that on hold. When I am well enough, I will get into a good exercise routine, slowly but surely. I know to pace myself. I have been complimented on my arm my whole life, luckily I'm right handed so my throwing will be fine. It will just be a matter of retraining my left arm for hitting. But I work very hard and I can overcome anything, so I have no worries. I think it's amazing just how similar our situations seem to be!

When my surgery was first explained to me in detail, they said they were considering using a flap from my thigh, but I guess they opted to just suture it up and let it heal on it's own.