Tower, I took 7 months' sick leave (I got full pay for that!) during which 7 weeks were used for treatment: concurrent chemo and radiation therapy. Before I resumed my job officially, I took a 3 week trial working just in the morning doing some paper reading and light administration work. This was an adjustment period suggested by my doctor to test if I were really physically and mentally fit for work. When I was ready, the doctor didn't give me any more sick leave and I resumed my full time job until now working from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Energy level increased gradually and I am now as productive as I was before. This is my experience and there is no fixed and fast rule on how soon you can return to work. It depends very much on the job nature,and your reaction to the treatment, etc. Stay positive and be patient.

Karen.

Tower,
I was out a total of 4 1/2 months, but returned to work part time 8 weeks after my last rad exposure. full time 3 weeks later. My work is not very physically demanding. My strength and stamina have gradually returned, but are still not at pre-treatment levels now 7 months past treatment.

Best of luck during your treatments. Kepp coming back here for info. You're much more fortunate than I was in that you found this web site before you have to go through all this.

Best wishes for good health

Chuck

Thanks Karen & Chuck.

I really need to talk to my kids about all this before I have to step on a plane to Toronto. My daughter is 12 and my son is 10. Of course they know that I have had a couple of operations , but no one has mentioned the "C" word around them as yet.

I'm just not quite sure how detailed to get into it with them. My son is like a dog with a bone - never stops asking questions. My daughter tends to keep everything to herself (and not ask questions).

My instinct is to try to give them a simplified but factually accurate version, with a positive spin.

Anyone here have to explain their prognosis to kids of a similar age? Any advice?

Thanks,
tower

Tower,
My kids are grown and my grandson is only 4 - he thinks the doctors cut my head off and sewed it back on again, and he is very careful of my neck scar, but of course he is too young to be scared of the c-word.
I think you have the right idea - your kids deserve honest answers, and they know things are not right. I would be prepared with a list of cancer survivors they know or know about, when you tell them, so you can remind them that lots of people have lived through what you are going through. And if you can tell them what they can do to help, they'll feel better. You will be sick after the radiation, and they'll have to deal with that too (and it is no fun for the family, ask my husband!)
How can we explain somethign we don't want to face ourselves? I know I told everybody I had had a cancer operation, but it wasn't anything to worry about, and then I was upset when they believed me and did not worry! But your children are going to worry, so you will have to try to put as positive spin on this as you feel you can.

Good luck - keep your teeth clean and complain to the doctors and nurses about every little pain and discomfort you have - there are remedies for most of them. And when they don't help, ask us - somebody here has had every problem that you can have.

love, Leena

Tower,
I have three younger children along with older ones. My three youngest girls are 10, 12 and just turned 14. They were 9, 10, and 12 when I was diagnosed. I spent tons of time agonizing over what to tell them and found that talking to them openly then taking my cues from them was the best approach. I told them honestly that I had cancer,where it was and what the treatment for it would be. They asked if I was going to die and I told them not if I could help it, but that there was a chance that could happen. I let them know that it was NOT what the doctors, daddy and I were planning on but that IF that happened that they would be well taken care of. After that talk I answered any questions they had in the two weeks up to my surgery and did it casually and even with a little humor. After my surgery, my husband and older daughters brought the younger ones to see me even though I didn't look all that great, and they handled it better then not knowing if I was ok.
Give your kids the basic information then each of them will guide you as to how much they want to know. My youngest seems oblivious to it at times, but my 12 year old NEEDS to talk to me about it. Let them assist in your care, don't put on a brave face for them. My kids amazed me with how well they endured my treatment. Yours will also. The key to it, in my opinion, is NOT TO LET CANCER DEFINE THEIR LIVES. I was always on guard that they would become known as "the kids whose mom has cancer". The thought of that drove me crazy!!!
Take care,
Minnie

Tower,

Frankly, I chickened out and was fortunate to have a close relationship with an oncology psychiatrist from my mother's terminal cancer. I went to the same cancer center so I asked her if she could "sit in" on the discussion. Both boys (13, 15), my wife and I went to her office since we were there already getting some info from the doctors. She was the safety net we used as we talked to the boys. I think this was one of the toughest things I have had to endure in my life.

I went back to work full time two weeks after treatment and this was way too soon. My work was in another city and I drove 400 miles each week so I could take extra medical supplies. The company was going under and I was fearful of being fired to save money which eventually happened just like that. I worked for about 2 1/2 months and the constant fear of being fired and pushing to get back to work just about did me in.

My boys are just now talking about how bad things were last year. My oldest son admitted he has been in denial until recently that I even was sick. I can see some of the toll it took on my boys and my dear wife but I am sure it is better on the surface for them.

Ed

I think I have managed to tell my kids about what's happening with me in a fairly competent manner. Thanks to all who offered suggestions and support.

I guess only time will tell how well I did .

Can anyone advise on the situation of possibily having a metastatic squamous to one lymph node with an occult primary, and also a second primary site at the same time (with no mets)?.

This other area relates to a possible tumor on the left side of my larynx, which was commented on in my CT scan.

The actual comment read "an area of soft tissue assymetry in the larynx anteriorly at the glottic level which is of uncertain significance".

On Monday past I was introduced, by a close friend, to a healer, who is a member of the British Federation of Spiritual Healers.

Without knowing any of my details, the first time she laid her hands on me she told me she was concerned about an area on the left side of my larynx.

I have to consider this gives her more than a little credibility bearing in mind the comments in the CT scan.

Though I am a sceptic by nature, I think I have enough of an open mind to accept the offer of assistance from wherever it originates. I think of this as ancilliary, rather than replacing, my medical treatment.

This lady has clearly indicated to me that she cannot "diagnose a tumor", as she is not permitted to do so by the rules of the Federation she works with. She has encouraged me not to ignore my doctors, and to have the radiation treatment.

I asked my ENT whether the panendoscopy had taken a biopsy from an area close to the site referred to in the CT scan, but he said it was too difficult to get at. He did say that if it were a tumor, then the radiation would shrink it.

Because of the location, he thought it most unlikely for it to be the primary site for the met. In fact, he said it would be more likely that the lymph site would be the primary site, metastatizing to the larynx!!??

I'm still waiting for Toronto to call, but I'm getting somewhat impatient.

Any ideas about multiple primaries? I was just starting to think my prognosis might be pretty positive, and now this.

Thanks,

tower