Hello Cheryl,

Thanks for helping me out. Surgery will be Wednesday and we getting anxious. I guess the lack of medical insurance is a big factor. My husband and his siblings had to send money to pay for all the expenses of the surgery.

Mom will stay in the hospital the least time possible. Her surgery is Wednesday and my father-in-law told me that he wants her to go home that Friday. How could it be, she won't be ready!! No choice after all I guess.

I will give you all updates about her surgery. Please include her in your thoughts and prayers. 2 more days and it is the big day.

Prayers headed your way for a successful surgery and recovery for your mom-in-law.
julieann

[quote=julieann]Prayers headed your way for a successful surgery and recovery for your mom-in-law.
julieann [/quote]

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, we are a bit anxious about everything but we are hoping and praying that she will do well. God bless to you.

The doctors should have done a scan like an MRI, PET, or CT to determine how advanced the cancer is. The scan could also help with how big the tumor is. There is a type of ensure or boost made for people that are diabetic. She must get nutrition or will have a heck of a time recovering from this major surgery.

So sorry to hear you have some disputes with other family members over this. At times when emotions run high disagreements can happen easily. You are 100% correct in thinking knowledge is power. Going into a major surgery without knowing anything about what was being done is like putting your life in someone elses hands to do whatever they want and its ok. Thats just beyond my understanding why everyone isnt doing research to find out about this disease.

To me I would have to guess and say since the tumor has gone from tissue into her jaw bone, she would be classified as a Stage IV patient. Dont get hung up on Stages. Some Stage 1 struggle while some Stage IV cruise right thru easily. Ive been both and to me the mandibulectomy was one heck of a hard time. I had alot of complications and ended up staying int he hospital for 2 months. Many get thru it and are home in about 10 days. Its not easy but it can be done. I hope her mental state is in fight mode as I really think a positive outlook and being motivated to get well will help her with this. Ive always thought this helps anyway, not sure if its ever been scientifically proven or not.

Best wishes to everyone involved, especially the patient!

Thank you Christine. I am aware that Joyce had a CT Scan and MRI but not a PET scan. The PET Scan is way above the budget. Without insurance some sacrifices have to be done. And is one of the test that they decided to forgo for now.

Another big issue troubling my mind is the number of days she will be in the hospital. My father-in-law wants her to go home 2 days after surgery. During her glossectomy she was confined for 5 days. I don't even know which surgery is more radical and intense.

I will keep all of you posted after her surgery. I appreciate all your kind words and advise.

It will not be possible for your mother in law to be removed from the hospital only 2 days after this type of surgery. He needs to understand the severity and complexity of an operation like this. She needs medical care and may be in ICU. I was kept there for 3 weeks then moved to the burn unit for about another week to 10 days so I would still receive more attentive nursing care. There is no way possible she will be ready to come out of the hospital even in 5 days. If I had to make and educated guess based on what I went thru and what Ive seen others here go thru I would guess she will be in the hospital for at least 3 weeks.

I would suggest if cost is an issue to track down the hospitals financial department and talk this over with them. Maybe this has already been done but if not do it right away. Many hospitals have charity programs that will pick up the cost of treatment for low to moderate income patients. Many also hide these programs and if you dont ask you dont get. I ended up needing some help and got a discount on my health care but if I hadnt asked I would never have been given a break. This goes for major hospitals too not just small regional facilities.

I know you care deeply about your mother in law or you wouldnt be here trying to get help and find info to better understand her health. Its not the best situation at all she is in. A mandibulectomy can be rough. I know I wouldnt want to ever go thru it again. My recovery took a year but I had problems most patients dont go thru. Other patients have had it easier but still are in the hospital for 2 weeks. Keep up the good work with asking questions, we will be here to help guide you thru this.

[quote=ChristineB]It will not be possible for your mother in law to be removed from the hospital only 2 days after this type of surgery. He needs to understand the severity and complexity of an operation like this. She needs medical care and may be in ICU. I was kept there for 3 weeks then moved to the burn unit for about another week to 10 days so I would still receive more attentive nursing care. There is no way possible she will be ready to come out of the hospital even in 5 days. If I had to make and educated guess based on what I went thru and what Ive seen others here go thru I would guess she will be in the hospital for at least 3 weeks.

I would suggest if cost is an issue to track down the hospitals financial department and talk this over with them. Maybe this has already been done but if not do it right away. Many hospitals have charity programs that will pick up the cost of treatment for low to moderate income patients. Many also hide these programs and if you dont ask you dont get. I ended up needing some help and got a discount on my health care but if I hadnt asked I would never have been given a break. This goes for major hospitals too not just small regional facilities.

I know you care deeply about your mother in law or you wouldnt be here trying to get help and find info to better understand her health. Its not the best situation at all she is in. A mandibulectomy can be rough. I know I wouldnt want to ever go thru it again. My recovery took a year but I had problems most patients dont go thru. Other patients have had it easier but still are in the hospital for 2 weeks. Keep up the good work with asking questions, we will be here to help guide you thru this. [/quote]

It is a big shock to me to know that Joyce has Stage 4 cancer. Once again this is something that I cannot even attempt to tell my in-laws. I am the bad guy for trying to find out what is truly happening to Joyce. Truthfully I think they are in denial, like she is having a tooth pulled, that is how lightly they talk about it. Sort of in and out surgery.

I tried to read about Stage 4 Mandibular cancer and I would like to know what makes it stage 4 oral cancer.

I deleted the information from another source - - sorry again..hope you don't hate me at this point

Thank you again Christine...you are such a big help to us.

I do not know if she is Stage IV for certain. It is something I suspect due to the locations and it entering the jaw bone. This does NOT mean she cant get thru this! I was a Stage Iv patient myself going into the mandibulectomy. I know several others who went thru it as Stage IV too and they are fine. We have some after effects but we all have learned to manage them. Your mother in law has oral cancer of the mandible from what you have said.

PLEASE do NOT bring medical info from other websites without stating where they came from as it could be from an unreliable source.

When looking for info online be extra cautious, look for well trusted sites where they are part of Health on the Net. This is very few. OCF complies with the Health on the Net code and is watched to ensure correct medical info is given. There are more sites online that give faulty info than dont so please use caution.

Oral cancer is much more dangerous than a simple tooth extraction. This is something your family will need to learn on their own. Many people are in denial and dont want to know their loved one has a deadly disease. Many people can and do die from oral cancer, while others do not. It is no walk in the park at all what she is facing. Its a very difficult surgery for a patient to recover from as it involves so many areas and her doctors will be sewing together tiny blood vessels to ensure the skin that was transplanted gets blood flow.

My suggestion is to print out several pages from the main OCF pages about oral cancer and leave them where they can 'accidently' be found when you arent there. Leave them laying out like you had been reading it and just put it down. Take a good look at them and see if they had been touched when you go back later. Thats how many caregivers pass info to their patients without nagging or arguing with them.

Thanks and sorry Christine ( deleted the info that I copied and pasted) I will email the link of OCF to the inlaws and they can decide what to do. I am so certain that they are in denial and don't want to know what the diagnosis and prognosis of Joyce is. When I attempted to say something, they say that what if that happened to your Dad. So after that exchange of words I won't say much to them.

Hi Ina, I can't offer any helpful advice I'm afraid, but i just want to say that my thoughts and prays are with you and Joyce and your other family members at this very difficult time. My fingers are crossed for the best outcome possible. Sally