Thats against the American's with Disabilities Act. Read up on it. Your employer must make reasonable accommodations for you since you are now considered to have a disability. Many employers only look to the bottom line without any concern to their staff. They worry more about numbers than the person. Dont worry about it, do the best you can.

John,
I know it is bad, but at least some of us, probably most, have experienced the same, to varying degrees. Anytime you have a serious illness, once your back to work, you are judged to be perfectly well, and they assume you are over it all, including the fear. Wrong, as we all know. It is good to be able to vent on this board, isn't it?

My principal last year at school was sooooo mean to me at the end of the year. Most of that was that he lost his job, and he could "pick" on a small woman (noticed that most of my life), especially one whose strength was sub-par. When he asked me to keep him in mind for substitute teacher jobs (for me), on the last day, I'm almost lost it, then just laughed at him. No comment necessary.

I have a principal this year who is very supportive and appreciates me. So, yes, your boss can make a great difference.

Hang in there, it will improve. Know that many have walked in your shoes, they just might not live close by!

Best,
Anne

Hi John

I know what you went through.. people that never been through or never have closed people who have to go through this are really considered as 'outsider clan' than us. Their mindset is closed. My partner went through the same thing after her radiation treatment and pronounced cleared back in November. People at work pushed her back to the max to work.. yada yada.. and thinking she is still the same person like before? Come on.. it totally changed once you are diagnosed!.. Emotional is something huge to deal with. We would never be the same again, but that's not what other people see.

U hang in there. Plug in Ipod when they start talking crap, all u care now is you still have a job, moving forward, been through life experience that will make u just tougher. Those crap people can just shut it .. they are fake...

Hang in there. Its all about you moving on now.. others can just go climb the coconut tree ...

Al

This is how we are trying to look at it; before you were diagnosed, when you heard someone had cancer, what was your response? Ours was kind of like "Oh, we are so sorry." You know? We felt bad for them and we prayed for them, but life DID go on for us.
Now, since going through it ourselves for 6 months and still trying to recover from radiation, we have way more empathy for those being diagnosed.
Not making excuses for those around you or those who also think our lives should be back to normal now, but I really don't think they GET it, ya' know?
That's why this site is such a blessing; we all get it.
So, what is the plan? Are you going back to work?
Kathy

John, wow.. Didn't realize there were still pockets or ignorance and indifference. I can assure you most places are not like that. In a similar situation as this is just my second week at work full time since the two surgeries.. People are wonderful. Just glad I survived and returned in one piece. You don't need these kind of issues, when you are back to 100% move to a different group.. Hang in there, just ignore the jerks.

Agree with MikeM... hang in there, when you are back to full throttle, move.. and prove to these jerks that hey you are still stuck in the hole while i moved !!!

Stay strong!

I went back to work yesterday. It was wonderful to see all the children I work with and see their reaction to me being back. My boss came up to me on the way out the door to ask me how I was and to half assed welcoming back. It felt good to be back and actually get to communicate with the parents. When this all started I had typed up a letter to in a professional manner to let the parents know what was going on and why I had to leave so suddenly and my boss refused to pass it out and I found out yesterday that she actually told some parents I was on vacation. I made sure to tell the parents exactly what happened and now she looks like a moron.
But the parents and my co-workers were very supportive.
I just happen to work in a field where being a male I'm constantly discriminated against and this is just another example. My boss can spew personal information about her pregnancy, including details about her morning sickness and how much she vomits but for some reason me having been operated on for cancer gets swept under the rug.
I know too that from now on its going to be a battle to go to all my doctors appointments for follow up care because she doesn't grasp that my bought with cancer isn't over. But she can leave early 3-4 times a week for her doctors appointments.


Thank you guys for all your support. On a more pleasant note my favorite band who are kind of local kind of not sent me a box of all their albums, all signed with a different message of encouragement and they sent me some other goodies as well. They have a show tomorrow night in my town and are dedicating a song to me so at least I have that to look forward to!

Hi John - How wonderful to have had such a nice welcome back to work! Especially from the children and their parents. Concentrate on all the positive people in your life. Hope everything keeps getting better and better for you!

That's fantastic... On the band! Try not to feel down cancer is scary to everyone most people are just happy - 1) it's not them - 2) you're fine so they can stop thinking about it. During my treatment and even after my diagnosis my sister in law mentioned my cancer a total of 3 times - she never once called even to see how I was doing or offer help (she did come by the hospital one day of the 10 I was in). In fact the day of my surgery (14 hrs) she asked my daughter to baby sit so she could go to a "ball" - I have no siblings - my mom is gone and at the time I was in the hospital my dad was in Europe for 3 mos! My inlaws - are great and so was my husband but even they are happy it's over with (at least in their eyes)
Most people don't get it.
As for your boss - union? You have one... I'm assuming - time off for illness and check ups should be built into your contract... And believe me I'm not a union peron per se - but it do know 2 things - school boards don't like principals with a lot of grievances - and the best way to shut someone like her down, is mention union.

Good luck - heal well!

Unfortunately there is no union for preschool teachers. I spoke with human resources and they are investigating. It's really disappointing that my boss had to go and act in this manner. It took all the excitement I had to go back to work and ruined it. And I can't shake it. Today I go in for a half day and I don't want to go. I just have so many emotions.