| | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) |  Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Talk about not being there for you.... Medicaid finally picks up next month... I was just told he wants a divorce...
after all i have gone through with that man... should've known it was always about him. always about having insurance.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 | WHAT????? He wants a divorce????? He's got to be sick in the head....:(
Hang in there,
Shelley
Caregiver to husband Ron. Throat Cancer. Finished 35 radiation treatments on 11/21/04. 8/2/11 small lesion on lower gum, laser Procedure to remove. 3/6/12 Doc. removed another lesion on outside of his neck. Did a skin graft from his chest to replace the skin on his neck. Went to Heaven on 6/24/12.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | He's trying to say that I am the one who wants out and blame everything on me. The damn cat could hack a fur ball and that would be my fault too. I feel like everything is put on me.
I am SO disgusted, disheartened, and just plain lost. I don't know what to do. I called my therapist hoping we could come in today but their office is closed. He has an appt scheduled for thursday next week and he is now sayin he can't go cuz the co-pay is too much to handle... yet quoted me $720 for the divorce if I play nice and don't dispute anything.
Fk that. I am so freakin p'd off right now I don't even want to go home today. There is no telling how many times sht will hit the fan over the weekend.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 | I am so sorry....why is it people always try to hurt the ones they love the most? Do you have any friends you could stay with for a couple of days to give you both time to cool off?
Love,
Shelley
Caregiver to husband Ron. Throat Cancer. Finished 35 radiation treatments on 11/21/04. 8/2/11 small lesion on lower gum, laser Procedure to remove. 3/6/12 Doc. removed another lesion on outside of his neck. Did a skin graft from his chest to replace the skin on his neck. Went to Heaven on 6/24/12.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 | Oh Chris, I am shocked! You two seemed to be so kind to each other. How can he pull the rug out from under you like that?! I just don't understand how he could do that to you. It tears your heart right out of your chest. I am so sorry. Please call me if you would like to talk. I'll send my phone number in a PM. Please call anytime, day or night. You are such a wonderful, loving and kind person. You deserve so much more...so much better treatment. I wish I was there with you to give you a hug and and ear and shoulder. I love you. I think you are an amazing woman. He is an idiot.
Sandy
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.
| | | | | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 |
Get yourself your own lawyer in this divorce as you can always "play nice" without being a patsy.
Charm
65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Passed away 4-29-13
| | | | | Joined: May 2010 Posts: 638 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2010 Posts: 638 | So so sorry to hear this.
Could it be that he is just lashing out? Or even trying to retreat to his cave to save you further heartache? So difficult to try to determine how to support you when we really don't know what has been going on in the background ... Hope the above comments aren't too naive or offensive
Karen Love of Life to Alex T4N2M0 SCC Tonsil, BOT, R lymph nodes Dx March 2010 51yrs. Unresectable. HPV+ve Tx Chemo x 3+1 cycles(cisplatin,docetaxel,5FU)- complete May 31 Chemoradiation (IMRTx35 + weekly cisplatin) Finish Aug 27 Return to work 2 years on 3 years out Aug 27 2013 NED  Still underweight
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | With everything Matt has had to go through, his behavior could very well be his way of trying to keep some measure of control over his life or even a reaction to whatever meds he may be on. He could be pushing your buttons to test your strength and your love for him, or as Karen noted, just trying to save you further heartache. If it really comes to divorce, getting your own lawyer would ensure that he/she is working just for you and not dividing his loyalties. I am so sorry for what you and Matt have had to endure. Cancer is a beast that not only wrecks the body and the mind but can severely test relationships, too! I hope that the end of the weekend can still find you finding some measure of peace for yourself and some glimmers of hope for Matt. Please stay with us and let us know how you are.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Divorce has been shelved. We've been through an emotional theme park over the weekend, but ended up reconnecting.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Reconnecting is good. And small steps can bring a little relief from all the stress of everything that's going on. I am so hoping for some good and peaceful moments ahead for both of you. Thanks for getting back to us and the update.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
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