| | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) |  Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Thanks AM. It has eased the stress and anxiety for a while.
We have been talking more openly about what the future likely holds and he understands me much better now from reading my posts here on OCF. I am such a 'planner' and it's hard to just go day by day. Once we can get all the needed plans figured out I can chill and enjoy each day together until one of us is called home.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 | I am sorry you two are going through not only OC hell, but marriage hell. It isn't easy. I think all of us who expressed being hurt on this thread have been hit in the heart. Like Deb, we understand who our husbands were, we need to get used to who they are now as a result of the disease.
Joel is wanting to work things out. He's trying really hard. Obviously, I do care about him. We'll see. Right now, we're in the eye of the storm with a cancer diagnosis and there's a possibility of treatment looming on the horizon. Right now, I have the old Joel back. I have seen the new Joel, and I'm not looking forward to his return.
Hang in there, all you beautiful wives! Thank you, Liz for your words of wisdom. I'm keeping them in the front of my mind.
Love and hugs!
Sandy
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 99 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 99 | The pain I am reading here on your posts are so emotional and real to me. So glad that you and Matt are in a better place, CM. Emmett also has mellowed out after spending time with our kids this past weekend (only had one outburst they witnessed) and getting the last bit of cancer out helped too... So we are co-existing on a peaceful level right now. I can live like this, I love the guy!
CG 2 Emmett,7/09 DX SCC rt tongue. T2N1M0, 1 node, marg neg.4/10 PET/CT clear, 9/10 C back. 10/10 Rad hemi, 2 tmrs mod diff. resec flr of mth. Flap 4 nodes/w/ext cap. 11/10 Peg, CX3 HD, 30 rad. 1/31 & 3/21 6/11/11 - PET/CT "activity" 9/11-all Clear. 12/11 peg out. 2/15 still all clear! 9/14 Prostate cancer treated with pencil beam proton therapy, best radiation experience. Keep it in mind as a treatment option for all tumors that can be seen including head and neck.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 | Deb, I dont mean to hijack your post, sorry. Here is my latest with J.
Joel is incredibly angry because of what he is going through--and because, if it isn't cancer, he's had radiation, surgery, chemotherapy, and teeth pulled all for nothing. He has said that he needed to get away by himself so he didn't lose his patience and have an outburst at home with me or the kids. He disappeared once for 12 hours. He comes back much happier and ready to be with us again.
I'm glad he's found a way to process what he's been through. It's still tough, but I feel like we're on the same side of this thing.
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Thanks everyone for the comments and support. I'm here and reading, just don't know what to say for the time being.
Next MO appointment is on the 5th of May.
Hope like hell there's an improvement.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
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