AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That man is so testing every ounce of humanity within me.
Now he is "the lowest form of life, and should die for the betterment of mankind" because he has now been to jail for the first time in his life at 53.

Just venting here for a bit... I've scheduled a psych visit for the whole family. Best this office could do is next Monday. I may call around a bit to find something sooner. I find it hard to empathize with him because I find it more like his pride is hurt from having been detained. It is on top of his depression he already has from cancer and treatment, but D@#$! Give me a freaking break already!
Okay... that feels somewhat better... back to the phones for a earlier appointment... wish me luck.
C

Wondering to myself... could he just be trying to make me feel like $&!* for having him arrested?... I'm almost wishing today that I'd kept the no contact order... not too late... but I really don't want to leave him to his own devices at this point.
Waiting on the local cancer counseling group to call me back, the guy he saw before will be in Thursday. I hope he will not sink any lower between now and then.
And, I am wishing I'd set up a spare bedroom rather than let him set up his stereo and computer in our third bedroom. I sure could use some sleep this week uninterrupted.
I am trying to remind myself to count my blessings that God loves us so much that he chooses to challenge us to shape our lives and make us steadfast.(James ch1 for any curious)
I've not practiced religion in a long time, but its a comfort.

Got appt for tomorrow @ 2:30 with a cancer group for both of us, but I told them if he refused, I was still definitely coming in.
I think I'll go ahead and keep the appointment with the psychiatrist next week to to discuss his anti-depressant (and mine)

I will update y'all as this feel like a scene from a soap opera now, and inquiring minds must want to know, LOL
(apologies for those that really don't but got sucked in anyway)

I can't beleive the judge did not order a mental status evaluation, that would MAKE him go. As it stands now it is optional. Of course you can establish your own criteria....if I drop the protective order then you have to go to see the Dr. Best of luck, and yes keep us posted.

Sharon

Wow!! I cant believe what has happened this past week. I am so sorry to hear. I can believe his outlook though. My sister is close to where he is mentally and is currently cancer free. I mean what the $&&@!! Her husband does get the brunt of it. I just get the nasty one word comments and the huffing and puffing. I really really hope he goes to the appt tomorrow with you. Or even a meeting with fellow patients? Does he talk to anyone going through what he is? Seems like that's the only thing that helps my sister once in awhile. To talk to someone that's there also. Now is the tough time for him. He knows he has this spot again and he has to wait? He has been fighting and fighting this imagine the change And mental questioning he is going through to "wait and see". He still shouldn't take it out on you guys. I will never understand why the ones who are there are the support are the ones that get the blame for all this. My prayers are with you to work through this.

Another thought. At the end of my treatment I experienced what they decided was "steroid-induced psychosis/delusions", I went more than a little mad. The steroids were part of the anti-nausea regimen that I was given during chemo, I believe. I understand that bad reactions can be had from many of the other drugs that get used in these cases, such as Fentanyl. My experience didn't result in outward aggression, but as we know, everyone reacts differently to the drugs in these cases. I spent several days in the "brief intervention unit" and they gave me other medications to sort of dampen everything down (sorry, I don't recall what those were), which did work. My delusions passed.

I lack words for your situation. Whatever does happen, I hope in time you are able to feel that the disease and/or the drugs caused this to happen, and that it's not your husband.

We've experienced steroid induced something... he didn't take them for long, but we referred to them as the day before the a**#$%^ comes out pills.
As the woman that loves this man and is devastated by this disease right along with him, I say 100% it's the cancer.
We'd never have these issues without all the added trauma.
I am struggling now with the choice to believe this was an isolated incident. His anger still seethes out at times. It's like living with Dr. Jekyll... two completely different creatures.
I don't know which I will find when I go to talk to my husband.
And it hurts something fierce when I really need my lover my friend to share a moment of comfort, but he's lost in a dark place.
He admits he's in a very dark place right now.
I told him I knew and that it was okay, I just would like to know if he wants help out of that place.
Anyway, he isn't coming with me to talk to the counselor today, I am going by myself, but he mentioned the possibility of going back to talk to the one he saw before.
Not much else I can say right now.

The visit was good with the counselor yesterday. Matt did not go as I anticipated, but he was waiting for me when I came out. He'd parked next to me. Unfortunately, by that time, the counselor had no time to talk to him, but he did ask to be rescheduled with the guy he previously talked to and should be there as I type.
This has been the longest week ever. (aside from those when we are waiting for test results of course)

I'm so glad you are going to counseling and that Matt is also. Hopefully this will make life better for the both of you. When do you anticipate test results?

D