Minh
One more thing is I did find out or read on the internet that this was a common side effect when patients were receiving treatments for certain cancers such as breast, however, I have had no such treatments...........
I'm not even sure if it is bone or what it is....it just looks odd to me!

Brenda

Brenda,

Christine is right go do something until your appointment you will drive yourself to the looney bin. I know easier said than done, but I was right where you are today March 2009, we've all been where you are today. My imagination ran wild the minute the 2nd Dentist said it looks like cancer. Whatever I said or did I didn't get in to see the Oral Surgeon any sooner. I waited 2 weeks for an appointment. At least you have an appointment on the 8th unless you call around to other Oral Surgeon's to see if one can get you in sooner. I made calls, 2 to 3 weeks in some cases was the earliest I could get in, BUT once I saw him I had to wait another week for the biopsy to be done, I guess that's the way it is.

Hang in there it will all come together.

Connie
You are so sweet and right of course. It is not like me to be like this but I can normally function ok when I'm sick but right now I cannot due to pain. I'm worried how bad will the pain get by the 8th. I have already had pain that has made me throw up.

I will try to let it go as much as possible. I took photos today and now I will try to work on my art or watch a movie.

Thanks again for your support and kindness............
Brenda

So here's what i say, the more you keep looking for problems, the more you are going to find. You should just stop looking, and just wait for the oral surgeon on the 8th. I know it feels like such a long time, but i had to wait from november when i found my initial spot, till march when they actually biopsied it.

I know it wasnt the acid reflux that caused it, and I know it was acid reflux when they said it was and not cancer! My cancer was in my tongue and 1 lymph node. Also the acid reflux was dx five years before my cancer dx, and they say that they feel my cancer was very aggressive and that i may have only had it for the most a year or 2, but they can't say for sure of course.

And what I don't get is why if you got a cancer dx you wouldn't go through with surgery!! Didn't you say you had a child? I am sure you have other reasons to want to keep on trucking and actually go through treatment if it is in fact cancer!

I am sorry you had that experience at the hospital, but at least the doctor there told you it was a good idea to go see the oral surgeon.

The white spots on ur gums may just be thrush, but it also may have been there a lot longer and you are just now noticing, because you are looking for new abnormalities constantly and you keep telling yourself you are so sick that you will more then likely die so you need to get ur things in order. When you tell yourself that, your mind can play games with you, and some of your symptoms can just be in your head, so a dx or a negative could help put some of those symptoms to bed, or finally give you piece of mind.

No matter what the results, i think you should go to thanksgiving, even if you are in pain and can't eat that well, it would be good to see your family if you really are as sick as you think you are, wouldn't you want to see them one more time at least? And besides you should go, not talk about all of this stuff, and just have one day where you enjoy the company of your family and loved ones without worrying or talking about all of this.
Also, stop showing your friends, as they will be biased by seeing how worried you are!! They aren't dentists, doctors, or experts in this, so they are only going to make you worry more.
Stop looking on the internet too, it's not always accurate.
Stop looking for new symptoms, the more you look, the more you will "find" cuz like i said, you are scared/worried and your mind can play games on you.
Don't rule out treatment yet. If it is cancer, just hear them out. You have reasons to fight this, even if its just for yourself, the strong go through battle, the weak just give in and let it win without a fight, and no matter how much you don't think it's worth it, it is!!
I say, you do what you can to get your mind off of this, stop thinking about it, find something else to busy your mind. Spend time with family and friends, and don't bring any of this up to them anymore because it won't help you.
Also check with your county on monday. If you aren't working and are "low income" they almost always have some form of medical insurance programs for you, if they don't, check your local hospitals, they do sometimes too.

I wish you the best and hoping that this is just some odd infection that is spreading and causing pain else where, and maybe just ur mind playing games on you, and not cancer, and that they get it all cleared up for you, so you can move forward from this and be a strong person and learn that everyone has a reason to fight cancer and not just give up and let it win, even if it's not cancer!!

And to tell you the truth, it kind of upsets me to see someone before cancer dx even considering just giving up. Look at me for heavens sake, i was 25, in nursing school, working as a cna and had a great life. I had everything ripped out from under me. I have people telling me i can't go back to nursing school or being a cna because of my speech, but they can't stop me from proving them wrong, and I went through hell during treatment, but in my opinion it was all worth it, because I am still alive today and able to keep proving those bastards wrong that say i won't be able to do things!!

Don't give up, no matter what it is, and if the oral surgeon tells you it's nothing or just a infection and not cancer, and he does a bunch of tests - scoping, biopsy, scan, palpating and still tells you it's nothing, and you still don't believe it, talk to a CCC around you, they have a list on here, and if you went there, and they still tell you know, then you should just put it out of your mind, and move on, but don't give up on trying to find out what it is that is making you so sick, even if it is just your head!

Beth

I was out of line with my comments and apologize. You have certainly been through enough and still kind enough to help others.
Please accept my apolgy and I wish you all the best.

Brenda

Beth is right Brenda. You are in panic mode right now and your mind is running a million miles and hour at no rest hence giving even more panic and anxiety. It's the not knowing that is doing this to you. But please please try and calm down so you can think rationally. You already know so much about cancer which is good, write all your symptoms down and when you go to the ENT , make sure they are all mentioned and addressed. I'm currently waiting fir a biopsy result only 2 1/2 months after my treatment have finished. Like you I do fear for the worse BUT I'm still hoping for the best. The first day that I found my lump I was a complete mess but since then I have gone on to enjoy a pretty "normal" life. Enjoying every moment if it. Yes I still panic sometimes but I then force myself to stop thinking about it cos it's not going to change the biopsy results. While it's harder for you since you have the constant pain to remind you but please please try to calm down. Also, if it is cancer, why won't you have treatment? Since I have been in thus forum, I have seen how some posters have gone thru hell with cancer but they are alive, coping and are happy. This has inspired me and made me realise that I too can fight this till the very end. Life is so precious and I'm not going to let cancer take it away from me without a FIGHT. I'm so sorry you have to go thru this and the pain you are in. I hope you can get this resolved soon and I'm also hoping that it's not cancer .

Minh

i don't need an apology, i am trying to help you see that you deserve to find what is causing this, but need to just stop worrying so much, its only making matters worse! I would do as minh says and write down all symptoms you know of right now, and once you right them down, then just leave it be till you get to oral surgeon on the 8th, if anything else bad happens by then, i am sure with your list of symptoms, they'll check over everything.

I know it's very very hard to think you have something so bad, that could possibly kill you, and not get answers, that has to be very frustrating, but there has to be an explanation behind it, but don't jump the gun so quickly!

Try ur best to stay calm and do what you can to not dwell till the 8th. Then go from there with what the oral surgeon says! Please whatever you do, don't give up. Like minh says and like i said, there are quite a number of us out here that went through hell with treatment, but we feel it was worth it, even if it has made some aspects of life more difficult, we are still alive, and able to find happieness again, even if it takes time and isn't with the same things. It is possible to enjoy your life after treatment, but you have to go through treatment if they recommend it! Or at least give it a chance to help!!

Just wanted to add this update.

I know with the experiences I have had with recent doctor visits I had lost a lot of faith which is one reason for my panic.
Today I was looking at doctors online and found a doctor with amazing credentials. He has published papers about oral cancer and teaches at a very good college.
The thing is which may seem silly is my dads name was Richard Jones and he died of throat and lung cancer and this doctors name is Kim Richard Jones.
I didn't think there would be any chance of seeing him with his credentials and all he does especially since I have little money and no insurance.
I called the office and I can't belive it but they made an appt. with me for tomorrow and said If I could bring a hundred dollars they would see me, give me a discount and bill me for the remainder. I thought it was a little over a hundred miles but now find out it is about four hours away.
My appt is for one thirty so I will leave very early.


This is off his web site.....hope it is ok to post it here.
It may be of use to someone else in this area.
Will post after my visit. I hope I can find some answers!

Professional

Dr. Jones was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota and grew up in Florida and Georgia. He attended Florida State University and graduated with a double major in Psychology and Biology. He continued in graduate school at Florida State and obtained a Ph.D. in Neurobiology. This was followed by a postdoctoral fellowship in neurophysiology at the University of Wisconsin.

He attended medical school at UNC-Chapel Hill from 1982-86, and remained at UNC for his internship in General Surgery and four years of residency training in Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery. Following completion of his residency, he joined the Faculty at UNC Medical School in the Division of Otolaryngology. He was appointed chief of Rhinology and Sinus Surgery in 1992, and was later promoted to Associate Professor with Tenure. He left the University in 1998 to open his own practice in Chapel Hill.

Dr. Jones is well-known for his enthusiastic teaching of medical students and residents, and was selected as Teacher of the Year in both 1998 and 2000 by the senior residents in the Department of Family Medicine. He has lectured widely on sinusitis and general otolaryngology, and has contributed articles to a number of textbooks and specialty journals. A listing of his publications can be viewed below:

Personal

In his spare time, Dr. Jones enjoys gardening, reading, working out at the gym, and photography. He is also an avid traveler and backpacker.

http://www.chapelhillent.com/bio_kimJones.php

Depending on this doctors advice I may cancel my appt. with the oral surgeon.

Thanks again for everyones help.

Hugs
Brenda

Beth

I certainly admire your courage and willingness to find peace and acceptance and carry on with your life.

Everyone's circumstances are different. My medical problems are more then what I have posted here because I was trying to stick to my most recent symptoms concerning my head and neck area.

I was fortunate enough to get an appt. tomorrow with a specialist even though it is a four hour drive. I'm feeling very good about this doctor.

The thing is I have been on my own most of my life and have no support system. My children have a lot of problems right now and are in no position to take care of me through an illness.
Not only that they live on the West Coast and I live on the East Coast. My oldest daughter had heart surgery, thyroid cancer and last December on her birthday was hit by a drunk driver and was air lifted to a hospital in critical condition.
She is ok now after physical therapy but has six children at home and no job. The children's father died of a heat stroke four years ago.

Anyway the reason I said what I did about treatment is I don't want to add a burden to my children and other then one elderly aunt I have no family left other then a half brother I barely know.
A very close friend in New Orleans that is like a sister is taking care of a very sick husband right now and also took care of her mother through breast cancer.
I just don't think I could go through major surgery and so on by myself.

Interesting thing is my ex was an RN.

Not looking for pity or anything like that. I just think I have been misunderstood a bit.

Hugs to you and all the other courageous survivors here.

Brenda

Did you fill your prescsrpiton for Thrush and are you taking the meds. You don't need this problem to complicate the others in your mouth. This can be a nasty disease and hard to get rid of and it does coat things white.

Take care,
Eileen