Minnie,
the good thing about OCF is that we don't all have to be insane at the same time. (PS the name of the Montovani song in The Cuckoo's Nest during med time was "Charmaine")

Maybe Brian needs to add another "F" - "Oral Cancer Fear Factor".

I had a scare this week myself which had me running back to the H&N surgeon, three weeks after my routine 4 month followup - it turns out that I have some kind of candidiasis (they cultured it, will find out next week). It's not typical thrush - no white patches - but I'm taking an anti-fungal and it's responding. Kind of strange after 4 years of not even having a cold. I had severe problems with thrush going through treatment - I took 400mg of Diflucan daily as a maintenance dose. They have me on Clotrimazole because of my liver (Diflucan is hard on the liver and during treatment the risk of thrush going systemic was far greater then the risk to the liver). I've also been getting exhaustive liver tests because my numbers spiked during my 6 month labs - actually got an automatic referal to a gastro-enterologist liver specialist. I have HCV so they have to watch that as well - hey - stereo fear factor;-)
Anyway all of the numbers dropped in a followup bloodtest(s) and a Fibrosure test indicated mild scaring so they recommended waiting a few years until better drugs are available. It's a slow moving freight so I am not too concerned. Sounds like a plan to me. I have no burning desire to have Interferon and Ribivarin ct.

Dear Minnie

You have been the giver of support during the four years I've known you. I also had to learn to open to the love offered by others - one of the gifts cancer brought to me. I am so pleased that your support group has rallied and that you are well.

Love and light from Helen

Gee, Minnie, when we were emailing in May and June it seemed that you were healing and it sounded like the sore was going away.

I was so sorry to read that you have been going through such mental anguish over this. I can understand why you want to get the biopsy done. Are you seeing your ENT or the dentist next week, you said your regular doctor?

I don't think you've mentioned why your upper denture is no good, but as Mike said, getting a functional denture up there, will help a great deal to solve the problem of your tongue rubbing against the lower implants.

As always, feel free to call me or write, if that is easier.

Jerry

Hi Minnie,
I am currently the 25 year old daughter of a man fighter cancer, so I felt compelled to write. All I can tell you is that we (your daughter and me) WANT more than anything to be there for you. We know you're scared and anxious and all the other emotions you all must be feeling, but we want to help. Since we can't do anything to actively fight the cancer the way a doctor can, please let her be there emotionally and with the every day stuff. I'm getting married in December and trying to plan it while dealing with all this, so I understand you trying to protect your daughter and not wanting to add one more "thing" to her plate. But you're doing both yourself and her a favor by letting her in. I'm sure part of her was relieved to see you break-down. You're letting yourself be human...

I also want to thank the rest of you for all your posts. I mostly "lurk" here, but I've learned SO much and really feel like I am now contributing to the fight. You're all in my prayers.

Minnie, I'm so sorry you went through that but so glad it turned out to probably not be a recurrence. I have a spot on my tongue that intermittently rubs against my teeth, esp. now that I am trying to get all my nutrition orally and it often worries me although both my dentist and my ENT say it all looks OK.

I can tell from your posts how much regret you have about breaking down in front of your adult daughter but I suspect it will forge a new closer and more adult relationship between the two of you, and may have let her feel important to you in a way she hadn't before. And you need to let yourself be human, you know.

I wish you had posted about your fears here, I think several of us could have encouraged you to get in and see the doctor sooner before assuming you had a recurrence. I've done that fearful and keeping quiet over a scare myself, it's no fun.

I feel like you have been such a constant support though, through everything I've been through, I would have loved to be able to give more back.

Nelie

Minnie: I'm sure you will post just as soon as you have your report. I just wanted to give you a BIG HUG and tell you how special I think you are! I'm sure all the rest feel the same.
Lois

Hi Everyone,
I had a biopsy done on Tuesday and will get the results this coming Tuesday. I won't lie, I'm terrified. My doctor said he didn't like the way it looked but that he also couldn't tell me by looking at it if it was cancer. He said it had signs that were not typical of cancer but he was concerned that it hadn't healed by now. He also sent me for a CT scan in case, which I had done today. The area itself looks better today then it has in a couple months so we think that's a positive sign. Four years of easing off my worries and now they are right at the forefront again. My husband and I have had some deep talks the past few days, some alone, some with the older girls, and have all plans in place if it's the worst case scenario. Brian, if it is positive for cancer, my husband has asked if you would talk with him.
So, pray, send up good wishes, do whatever it is your spirituality dictates in your life. I didn't want to bring this to the board cause we have enough "bad" news going on but I realized how much I need to bring it here. Hopefully, on Tuesday, I can post some good news. If not, I will come here and start another battle with the support of all of you.
Love,
Minnie

Minnie,

I hope you can feel all the prayer, well-wishes and love being sent your way (and to your entire family as well) because there are so many people on this board who care about you and are hoping you have that best possible outcome. And we will be right here for you whichever way it turns out, of course.

Just for what it's worth, the fact that the area looks better sounds like a good sign to me too. My tongue cancer never got "better" at all back when I could see it and didn't know it was cancer--just gradually worse and worse.

I know it's going to be a long wait until Tuesday for you--I hope you can spend some of the time doing something enjoyable and manage to get your mind off it even!

Nelie

Minnie,

Yours is the post I fear to read. I'll pray for good news for you.

Tim

Minnie, God Speed, Amy in the Oz