| | Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 235 Gold Member (200+ posts) |  Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 235 | Theresa, I'm so sorry about your friend. Several years ago we lost a very good friend to cancer at age 50. There really was something about losing someone at that point in their life to such a senseless disease. And what a helpless feeling.
I don't know if there is anyway to feel ok in this situation but I do know you should try to not beat yourself up(easy to say, hard to do---I know).
You are only one person with a certain amount of resources. And I would bet your friend would tell you that you are doing exactly what you can do to get through this.
CG to Spouse BOT, Chemo and radiation started on March 29,2010
Ended on May 14,2010. LET THE HEALING BEGIN!!!
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | I'm very sorry, Theresa, what a blow. And you're right, there is simply no making sense of it.
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 396 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | OP Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 396 | thank u all for your encouraging words.
i think it just effected me more knowing she has cancer and it hit me pretty hard when i found out she was sent home.
eric-ur story touched me personally. but i dont know which would be better (like one can be BETTER), not knowing til the end or being told but not being able to see her even knowing the end is near. her daughter is very firm in the fact that she does not want to see ANYONE.
Teresa
-----------
CG to ANDY. Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma (NPC)
T2N2cMxG4 stage 4. 43 @ dx 8/31/09
tx 9/21/09-11/06/09 cispatin/docetaxel/5-FU X3
PORT 9/9/09, PEG 12/07/09
35 IMRT-1/wk carbo 11/30/09-2/3/10
tx stopped due to complications
IMRT BOOST 3/08-3/12/10
PET 4/12/10 CLEAR!
PEG out 4/14/10
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 | Teresa -
I'm sorry about your friend's death. I can understand your feeling happy and guilty at the same time. If we are ever able to be in two places at once, someone will find a way to make us feel guilty we weren't in a third place.
It's sad to lose anyone, but you were where you needed to be - emotionally and physically.
Prayers and hugs to you.
Marlene
Marginal mandibulectomy 6/17/08 resulted in DX of Stage I SCC - gingiva (3 mm) right mandible, buccal side. Clear margins. Occasional social drinker. Smoked last cigarette in 1979. Clear pet: 12/08; 7/20/09. Yay!
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | I Lost my best friend and neighbor to this disease and a year later my favorite cousin passed from it also. All we survivors can do is pray for their souls and pray that one day soon, a cure is found so others can live. Life can be tough on us at atimes. It is hard to loose family members and friends.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
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