Karen i cannot say that one word you have written sounds unfamiliar to me,and i am sure the same is true for many carers on this forum.The only part that is totally unfamiliar to me is the inclusion of a psychiatrist.The very idea of Rob ever going near a counsellor or a psychiatrist is unreal.I never thought that his behaviour after his treatment was anything but completely expected considering what he had been through,but it didnt make it any easier to bear.I survived for one reason only.The help and support of good friends here on the forum.He reduced me to tears of hurt and frustartaion so many times i lost count,until eventually i packed a bag and left for a while,but not once did anyone here chastise me ,they just kept up the support and advice on a daily basis.

Its a hard time,probably the worst time of the whole treatment really,so hard to understand.Rob slept 18 hours a day,didnt speak,wouldn't eat,wouldn't see anyone,got irritated by everything i did,and resentful when i insisted on medication or tube feeds,but if anyone did manage to get through the front door to see him,he lit up like a candle and insisted he was fine.

It passed in time as most things do and when things were really bad he was exemplory.Its fear and pain and the unknown.some men really step up to the plate,but some don't fare so well.Every one is different with different challenges to face and overcome so please dont have him committed just yet lol,in a few weeks you probably wont reccognise him.

Hi Karen. I'm so sorry that your hubby is being so difficult. Everyone reacts different to treatment and a cancer diagnosis. Thank God my husband never took his fear, anger, pain or depression out on me. We have always had a very strong bond and I think dealing with major life issues such as a cancer diagnosis can either strengthen your relationship or fracture it. I have told many people that although this year has been one of the most difficult years of our life, it has also been filled with some of the most love-filled moments between John and I.

When John was a month out of treatment he literally couldn't talk or he would gag and throw up. He was on Zofran and Compazine for the nausea for over a month after treatment stopped. Is your husband on anti-nausea meds? This might be something to look into if he isn't. John would use a writing tablet and we "communicated" that way. His throat and mouth were much to sore to talk or eat anything. I don't have any experience with shrinks so I can offer any advice there. I personally think that most if not all cancer patients are somewhat depressed - who wouldn't be battling cancer. Sending you a hug and hoping your days get brighter.

Remember that you are his wife and not his mommy. He needs to take some responsibility for his own care.