My eldest had compassion and came to see Daddy once/week with the new baby. My youngest was devastated when he was diagnosed and has held four to six jobs at a time to help out with the bills...also, sat with me for 12 hours while he had the neck dissection. My middle one is angry...how could he ruin our lives with cancer??? She is also, petrified that she may "get it" too.

I truly believe it's more of a fear that drives some kids (and adults too) away from the one that they love. And the fact that they want life-as-usual to return...don't we all????

Kids aren't the only ones who react badly to a cancer diagnosis.Robs boyhood friend came to the house the day after his diagnosis and then never set foot across the door until robs funeral.I was furious but Rob understood,how i will never know but its obviously a man thing.Until rob was diagnosed terminal our friends shunned him as if his cancer was catching once they knew he was dying they all wanted to see him at once.I will never understand humans.

I understand all of that, I'm scared I'll get it too....and I can...

I couldn't have kids...glad...screw his kids

Liz, I wish we were sitting in the same room...and Christine, & Karen Rose, & David, & Jim, & Gabe, & Wendy, & Margaret, & Charm, & walklite, & Donna, & Cheryl, and.....man, facebook is't big enough...and I'm sorry for forgetting names I shouldn't.

Pfff, well... daughter of Martin. Where do I start. 9 weeks without a visit when martin was at his worse on the feeding tube, just a "are we going anywhere today?" phone call. And when I said "No your dad is a bit tired today" I got the "Oh, I won't bother coming then".
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I could write a novel about the lack of consideration care and love she has/is showing. But I have better things to worry about, like making sure Martin continues to improve.
Oh, she is a 17 year old school drop out who lives with her mum a 15 minute walk away. No school, no job, so what is the excuse for never coming to say "hello Dad, how are you feeling,..."
I don't know. Teenagers are very strange.

LOL....not funny at all I know. Rod's kids are banned from this house, if they want to see him they have to take him out...I don't want them in my life. I agree, we have better things to worry about - aren't you glad she doesn't live with you??!!

I am glad she doesn't live with us. But on the other hand I am concerned that if she carries on like this in life, she is going to lead a very unhappy lonely life. I sometimes think that if she came to live here I could kick some sense into her. teach her some humanity and dicsipline and knock that arrogance out of her. But then I don't have the energy, and the spare room is still unliveable. So it would not be for now.
It's Martin's 50th birhtday on the 20th September. I have arranged a 9 day surprise trip to Florence and the Tuscan Hills. He knows we are going somewhere but he doesn't know where. It's funny, every knows where he is going except for him (and his daughter). I wonder if she is going to remember his birthday, that should be interesting!

Some of these stories are making me look like a saint!

I'm so sorry for all the pain and upset that each of you have gone through and sounds like it may continue on. I don't understand children, especially adult ones who are so self centered and appear to think that they are entitled to act however they please. I can't imagine turning my back on someone in need. They need to grow up and stop thinking of only themselves. The pain from the disease is probably less than their heart that is being broken from total and absolute disrespect of a parent. I imagine that there is no way to fill the void of the person who is not willing to be there for their loved one. As a CG to my mom, taking her to numerous appts at the CCC, I saw many people alone, exhausted and frightened...I tried to reach out and it was just so amazing how a small touch on the hand can help someone. It makes me angry and I feel such resentment towards some of these people who are so careless with other peoples feelings.

Christina, I've been hibernating for a while and missed some posts, where did you move to? Are you any closer to me? If so, let me know how I can help you.

Hope everyone has a nice evening.
Donna

Thanks for your imput girls. Rods youngest called him on the weekend and said she would take him out for Fathers day this Sunday. 2 days ago he and I had a litle tiff over money, and I said, 'why don't you ask your family for a small loan of some money? He got mad with me & hung up. I called him back and said don't you dare do that to me again. He apologised. He said when I got home from work that he called his youngest and asked for a small loan. She allegedly said I have no money but let me see what I can do & I'll call you back. I bet our last 2 bucks with my mum that he wouldn't hear from her...I win!! Yippee!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm as I said, she came & got her things from the house but didn't knock on the door to see Rod. He was watching her the whole time out he window. Well.....allegedly according to her it is my fault for everything.....I'd love for at least 10 of my OCF friends call this girl and give her an outline. No point with the elder girl.....probably no point with either girls...they wouldn't know disrespect from respect if it were shoved in their faces.....