#10096 04-04-2007 05:14 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 | Sharlee, my girls have experienced the death of parents of three of their friends in the past three years. One of the parents, a woman that died after a five year battle with Ovarian cancer, had four kids that all attend the small Christian school that my girls go to.......everyone knows everyone and my 16 year old is very close with the youngest son and daughter of this wonderful woman that fought so hard to stay here with her children. These two kids naturally gravitated to me, even though I think I may have made them a little uncomfortable at first. And Mercedes (my daughter)talked to them alot about losing their mom and they were great enough to allow her to share some of her fears about me possibly dying in the near future. Kids this age NEED to talk, it's vital to their growth as a person. My kids are available to your daughter if she needs them............all three of them have a sense of humor that just won't quit.......no doom and gloom!
SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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#10097 04-05-2007 04:01 AM | Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 52 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | OP Supporting Member (50+ posts) Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 52 | Yeah, I think we sometimes forget the kids in our madness. They do need to talk. Teen years are hard as it it already. We need to be prepared so they don't turn to alcohol or drugs instead of us. Not trying to scare anyone, just trying to be prepared.
sharlee...if ya want to give me your daughters screen name. I'm gonna go makeup a screen name for my daughter today so that we can round up a few kids to talk to one another.
We as parents can monitor them also.
Age 55, Right side throat with ear pain. Squamous cell carcinoma of the supraglottis with cervical neck metastasis. Stage IV disease with a T3, N2, MX
March 2008, diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Folicular Lymphoma
Now taking Thyroid pills for side effects of Rad Treatments
And Life Goes On...
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#10098 04-06-2007 02:08 PM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | I think Minniea may have missed the point for some kids. The kids that are not open and do NOT want mom and dad monitoring what their feelings are will not post. They are SCARED. They want to comunicate to other kids without M&D intervention. I saw this with my sisters divorce. If they are are not open with you about their feelings, posting them on a forum for you to read is like sending them to YOUR shrink. They won't say anything. So for these kids, putting them in touch with each other via email is a great idea.
On the other hand, since Minnie's kids are cool with talking about it, a thread or even a new kids section on the forum would be a great idea. They really do need to be able to talk to other kids their age to express their fears and concerns. Would help M&D help them also. Great idea all around.
Take care, Eileen
---------------------- Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#10099 04-06-2007 04:58 PM | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 735 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 735 | i dont know if it is fear or just teenager years ..but I tell ya she is terrible ..I was talking to hubby in front of her , about a guy up here that goes around to school and talks about oral cancer ..He has lost 1/2 is face it seems from the disease. He does it during national smoke out week I think and I know he does it other times as well. I was saying i would love to meet him and maybe speak with him sometime ..SHE FLIPPED and told me i had no right to because I didnt smoke or chew so what is the point. I tried to explain it was about awareness and that as much as smoking and tobbaco are a big risk factor other people get it and you need to be AWARE. She told me he already says all that so I dont need to. I was ready to choke her...She has no idea what this is like and wont even give me a break on it. I hope the reason is because she is scared and doesnt know how to deal.. I would hate to think that I raised such a selfish and uncaring child. My other ones are nothing like that . SHe is annoyed that I am going to all the dentist in the area with Brochures ( I can tell you dentist are extremley happy) UGHHHHHHH >>>>>> So not sure what to think of all this with her. I can tell you all ..her life hasnt changed or even stopped for a minute during all this. So it is coming down to ..she needs to talk or I am going to lose it with her. She Has no RIGHT to act like this to me !
Sharlee 35 year old Female Non smoker, very occasional alcohol ..Scc T1N0M0,partial glossectomy and left neck disection ,2/9/07 No rad deemed ness. 4/16 tonsillectomy ..Trimengenial Neuralga due to surgery
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#10100 04-06-2007 04:59 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 | Hey Eileen,
I didn't miss any point, I'm very aware that some kids are more open with their feelings then others are. I suggested a thread on here if they wanted one BUT my main idea was for them to email and instant message them. Trust me, as the mother of 7 girls my respect for privacy is HUGE!!
SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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#10101 04-07-2007 01:13 PM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Maybe Brian can get Chester to set up a new section for kids on the forum, like the caregiver section. Give them their own section to post their frustrations and a place to vent if they want to do it publicly. Just a thought. It might help M&D to understand what other peoples kids reactions to this is and how to help them.
Eileen
---------------------- Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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