Dear Fedhillgirl, There comes a time when what the doctors say hits you squarely between the eyes like a sledgehammer. That time came for us when John's second surgery did not produce the desired results. His surgeon said and this is a direct quote " I would have to take half your face off to try to stop this cancer with surgery". So, what it sometimes boils down to is quality of life for an uncertain period of time. If you all have trust in the quality of care he has received thus far, then you must trust what they are telling you now, as difficult as it is. In our case- the Erbitux has slowed the tumors, but it has NOT done much toward improving John's Quality of life, other than prolonging it. For that, I am thankful, but I'm not sure he would say the same. Those of us who do not want to lose our loved ones can often lose sight of what they are going through just to stay alive. Amy