How have you prepared yourself for another (and another and another) round of treatment with your loved one?

I have so many fears for my mother: for her health, for her life, for her attitude (which is not good) and for her willingness to forge ahead.

However, selfishly and honestly, I have many anxieties and fears of my own: fear for my own stress level, for the health of the child I am carrying, for my family and my life before this cancer.

I love my mother and want to fight for her to have her in my life - for as long as possible. That keeps me driven.

What I worry about is the continual stress this puts on our family. I worry that her terrible pisser attitude (quite present before cancer, but surely exacerbated by this) will only get worse. I worry that the next period of treatment will be scarred by the underlyings of this stress and anxiety - from me, from her as well as the other caregivers.

This is a terrible experience and I still have my mother: but I am grateful for what I have learned about living in the moment, about gratitude and happiness. However, my mother only gets more depressed, more anxious, retreats more into her solitude...

What gets everyone through this, a second time around?

(Thank you to this forum for the opportunity to share very private anxieties in a non-judgemental way, about a situation in which we are absolutely not the star players.)