I'm new here, but I would like to say that the letter your daughter wrote just broke my heart and warmed my heart at the same time. My father-in-law was diagnosed with oral cancer on his tongue 8 years ago. He had surgery to remove it, followed by chemotherapy and radiation. It has returned in other parts of his mouth including the roof of his mouth and he has has more surgeries over the years. He has trouble talking and now has a feeding tube. I was never involved all that much with his care, but just weeks ago, my own father was diagnosed with cancer under his tongue (sorry, I don't know the names of these locations). He underwent surgery to have the places removed along with the lymphnodes on one side of his neck just this Monday. He is recovering well, although we haven't been to our follow-up appointment yet to find out the pathology results. I can ceratinly understand the feelings of your daughter. She has a wonderful way of putting her thoughts into words. Let yourself be vulnerable to her. Just like you as a parent want to help your children, we as children feel an obligation to care for our parents. I think my father is having a hard time letting me in on his healthcare and allowing me to care for him. It is what I'm here for. Your daughter sounds like a very caring and intelligent person. Be proud of yourself for raising such a strong person. Sounds like your recovery is coming along and I wish you the very best.