Hathir,

Your troubles are complicated. Your culture is vastly different than most of ours and it is difficult to impart advice. Having lived in other countries and understanding the type of culture from which you come I can only say this..

At some point you will have to reconcile yourself with the choices that you have made. If your problem is indeed cancer then you will possibly be forced to make a choice.

The reality is that there are many people who get this disease who never used tobacco of any kind. It is up to you whether you are honest with your family. Since we do not know the circumstances of life in your village it would be hard for us to give you any direct advice on what to do.

What I can do though is to lay out your choices as I see them and then you can consider them. I am certain however, that you have already considered these options.

Before you get too worked up, go to a doctor and find out for sure what your meical issue is.

If it is cancer then you will have to weigh the value of your life against the possibility of never talking to your family again. That is a very tough choice and while most of us here would be far less than understanding if it were to happen here, we must respect the culture from where you come.

Your choices are hard. Maybe even harder than some of us have ever had to make, but the only one who can make those choices is you.

Saudi Arabia has some good medical care. You should start by a visit to a doc there to determine what you are dealing with. Then your next decisions will flow from there.

Be respectful of your family and take responsibility for what you have done, that is important, but don't sever the family chains until you are sure what is wrong. You recognize your error in using the tobacco and have stopped so maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who gets away with it.

There is little more advice we can give you from this point until you have been diagnosed. Please go see a doctor and then let us know what the results are. It isn't until then that you need to make your next step.

All the Best!
Cindy