It really depends on the age of the child and their life experiences how they handle this. My children are 18, 17, & 14. They were all one year younger when my husband had his surgery. They came to see him at the hospital and I was very upfront about what he looked like and i must say, they handled it well. My sisters children are considerably younger but both of their grandparents died horrible cancer deaths. They are very compassionate because of this experience and are concerned about their uncle. My other sisters children are 9 & 5 and haven't dealt with this sort of thing yet so they are nervous around my husband. Through all this treatment we have only been asked one or two times how they children are doing so I know YOU have to be proactiv if you think they need help. Knowimg my own, they wouldn't accept it from an outside source.

I have a very good friend who was an oncology nurse and she advocates being very upfront with teeangers about this when it's a parent with the cancer. I have taken her advice and my children know the severity of their father's condition. Just yesterday Neil's doctor told me how traumatic it will be if Neil's tumor causes a neck hemmorage. He knows we have children at home and wanted me to be prepared for the worst case scenario. I appreciate that he took this into consideration. Many times people tiptoe around such awful discussions but I'd rather be prepared.

So I guess it all really depends on the age, maturity, and relationship to the patient. In my case, I don't want my kids to be afraid to be home alone with their dad but they also need to know what to do in case of emergency. He still goes to work and is actually on a convention for a few days but as winter approaches and he goes back on chemo that may change. With younger people get this horrible disease I think the issure of children and how they deal with this will really become an important issue.

Sue