hi everyone, been a while, getting ready. resection surgery on monday and for those unfamiliar, my benign ameloblastoma will be history (hopefully for good!) 3/4 of my top jaw, bottom of my sinus cavity and the bone which supports my nose will be gone with it. feel really good, after a bit of battle, with my new surgeon and the margins were checked again this week thru MRI. no change which means NO new growth, thank god! diagnosed end of april, i should have taken care of right away. my two young ones were still in school, and sports and i think i just couldn't at the time, accept or deal with this. since then, i have a lot of time to learn about the surgery and its aftermath and have had so much help from so many on this board. colleen (my coach) is a true godsend, dr. wilck you are amazing and so kind for going the extra mile, and donna (so sweet, i pray your mother is doing better!!!) while having the time was a good thing, it may have not been the best, as there has been maybe too much time to dread it as well. sometimes i think colleen is right - perhaps i am "grieving" now, so hey, perhaps afterward won't be as bad : ) i think i thought that i could get my head around it, but now suppose it is one of those things you just can't. so it is best to just get it done with. i have lots of help lined up, fridge full, bills paid, kids prepared (i hope) and stocked up with chocolate boost. now i have to trust in the doctors, keep my faith and my chin up. will be back soon, say some prayers for me on monday (they will make their way to philly!) thanks to all, marieka