My husband has found me crying at the computer several times. He thinks I'm torturing myself but I think it's more like validating my feelings and fears. Sometimes when I try to talk to people about what I'm going thru-they say "be positive". At least on this board people aren't afraid to tell me the truth of what they are going thru also. The losses are devastating though. I had just started getting advice from Brenda when she passed. That really brought home the severity of this devil. The doctors had been telling me that everything was going to be fine. One even asked why I looked so sad after my husband's surgery went on for 12 hours. This place and the people here made me feel ok about being sad. We will all lose someone we know-this is not the bed of roses some paint it to be. That said I'm in tears again.

Sue

Last edited by suemarie; 06-21-2008 05:55 AM.
cg to husband, 48 Stage 1V head and neck SCC. First surgery 9/07. Radiation and several rounds of chemo followed. Mets to chest and lungs. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Went home to God on February 22, 2009.