My mom had surgery last month to remove the tumor inside her lip. After the surgery, the dr said the margins were clear and we should come back in about 2-3 wks to remove the stitches. She had a radical lip disection. We went all the way to Manhattan on Friday and he wasnt even there. The nurse told us that the pathology report showed clear margins but one side was not as clear as they would have liked. She said to call the dr on Monday to go over results. He finally called back on Tues. and said that the cancer was actually intermediate to advanced (he originally thought it was low grade). His concern now is that the cancer may have spread because the cells are so aggressive. He said he needs to see the tissue samples himself to really know. He had requested they be sent to him. Needless to say, I am very upset. Not only by this new information but by the fact that over 3 weeks have passed since the surgery. Shouldn't he have said something sooner? He told my mom that we have 3 options at this point. More surgery, radiation or a wait and see attitude. He said that she should have a pet scan in about 2 months. Doesn't this seem obsurd? Why wouldn't he give her a pet scan now if the cells are so aggressive? And shouldn't he have done a neck disection? I suggested it at our first meeting and he just shrugged it off. He was convinced it hadn't spread to her lymph nodes. I am so upset with myself for not being more assertive at that meeting. I thought I was prepared, but now I am questioning everything. The fact that she was at Memorial Sloan Kettering gave me a false sense of confidence. Her situation seemed so much less dangerous than all of the people in the waiting room. The doctor made us believe that this was "not a big deal at all". I am sorry for rambling on. If anyone had any advice for me, I'd love to hear it.