To Sue and your family,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been reading posts for a long time and was always inspired by your mother's writings to others. She had insights without preaching. I finally got some courage to put myself out there and post my thoughts & fears. Brenda took the time to respond on 1/29 without talking at all about herself- I've been thinking about her words ever since (and now even more)
Here is what she wrote:

"Don't focus on the 'should have done' stuff.
Start NOW making a list of what you HAVE done--you'll be amazed at how long, full and important it is--working, bringing up kids, being a spouse, looking after a house, giving support and comfort to other people in times of need--includes small child with scraped knee!--to ringing/visiting parents or even grandparents."

I see now that she had a long, full and important list of her own. My thoughts are with you.
Fran