Could you wear a mask that would filter out the pollens and allergens?

As for the counseling, when I was diagnosed with two kinds of cancer practically at once, the director of the breast cancer support center here (which has since turned into a support center for all cancers, a good change) had some funding for short term therapy for women in need. She heard my story of two cancer diagnoses in two weeks and decided I qualified. I think she actually arranged contacting the therapist and everything--I was so overwhelmed. I know the therapist was recommended by this center as someone who had worked with cancer patients. She was GREAT and a real sanity saver to me for over a year after that diagnosis. I think she is the reason I never did get clinically depressed. And she lived very close and had used to work as a massage therapist before becoming a counselor so when I was in treatment and my vocal chords were too fried for me to talk, she made a house call and gave me foot massages......

Brenda, Take good care of yourself here. You've been through the wringer. See a doctor about a prescription for the insomnia and depression (I would not rely on Ativan too much, unlike antidepressants it can be addictive) and see if you can find a therapist for a few visits anyway. You might be surprised how much it helps to have someone to listen.

Nelie